Let's Play Pokémon SoulSilver
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Days 28 and above
My adventure began at the wonderfully romantic location of Wal-mart, where I picked up the game in the first place. I had heard that they had a number of pre-order bonus gift things, and thought maybe some of those would just be given out if you picked up the game without a pre-order. Evidently not. We didn't pre-order it due to a number of reasons that don't really matter, and I'm not too bothered by it because I wouldn't really have anywhere to put the Lugia figurine anyway.
So yeah, I decided to buy the game now instead of waiting until Easter because... well, I wanted it, and I had money left over from my trip to Texas, so I figured why the heck not. At the Wal-mart they seemed to be out of HeartGold copies, but that didn't matter to me because I wanted Silver. It's the worse of the two games, I think, but I almost always go with the second of the two versions, and I like Lugia and the color silver better than Ho-oh and gold anyway.
After getting the game, I ... didn't play it, because I wanted to hear the music clearly and I didn't want to have it turned up while riding in the car. I also got needlessly angry because our car is stupid and doesn't have a light in it, so I couldn't look at the manuals. But whatever. I finally started the game an hour or so after getting home, once Jenny went to sleep.
My character is, of course, a girl named Karen. I mean, duh. Jeez. Why would I go with the male named Jish? (I actually did sort of want to do that, but assuming Jordan and Jonah are getting the game later on, as planned, I'd rather have a different character than them, and I assume they're both picking the boy.) So whatever, Karen it is. It fits kinda nicely with the friend named Ethan; the names are similar sounding. My ID number is 51547. I'm still not sure yet if this matters at all, like with the fossil distribution in Platinum. I want to know if the fossils are version exclusives or not, and I haven't seen any hard evidence pointing to one way or the other yet.
After enjoying the music and getting my items from Mom, I head to Elm's lab and pick up my starter, Totodile. Now it's time to begin my adventu- wait, no, it's male. I wanted a female one. Dammit.
*resets for about a half hour*
Christ, about time. Got my female Totodile and named her Ally, after my second girlfriend. (The first being Aisha, as mentioned when I named my Smoochum that in FireRed Omega, and third/current being Jenny, who will have a Pokemon named after her soon enough). Ally is a Mild nature and "likes to thrash about". Kinda contradictory there. If her traits were to match the real Ally, they'd probably be more along the lines of Quirky and "often makes retarded typos and then laughs at them after trying and failing to correct them about 5 times". Spelling "heart" as "dearst" and "herart[" is truly classic.
Blah blah blah story progression who cares nothing out of the ordinary is happening here, you all know what the start of Gold/Silver is like, right? The guy who used to give you a Berry gives you the Apricorn case now, and tries to convince himself that he's important and people aren't just trying to go see the still-terribly-named Mr. Pokemon. Got Egg, got Pokedex, yadda yadda, oh snap, red-haired guy. He doesn't introduce himself as ??? this time, instead apparently you got a hold of his trainer card... somehow? And saw his name, I guess? I dunno. So I go back to the lab to deliver the egg, and I tell the cop his name is Harry, because Harrison doesn't fit and I felt like naming my rival after him for some reason.
Ethan done gave me some Pokeballs (he had 20 of the damn things, and yet seems to only own a level 5 Marill and newly caught Level 2 Rattata, go figure), and I used one to catch a Hoothoot, which I named Hedwig. She's a Careful and "highly curious" sort. You know what this means? I have two Pokemon now, so I can use the Pokewalker! Yay! And holy crap it has the "printer error" music from the original games, that is the coolest thing EVER. I can't believe they'd bring back that song. I spend about six years listening to it before finally doing something.
I transfer Ally to the Pokewalker and pick the first level, the Refreshing Field. After much leg-jittering and trying to figure out how the crap this thing works, I eventually catch a male Nidoran, Pidgey, and Kangaskhan. Sweet. Gotta love having a Kangaskhan so early in the game, but unfortunately I already used one of those in FireRed non-Omega (I named it Mama Luigi), so I don't really want to use another one.
After transferring everything back to SoulSilver, I messed with the Pokewalker a little more and randomly ran into another Pidgey. So apparently I'm going on a stroll with this thing now. I figured it would just sorta take off somewhere if I connected the Pokewalker to the game again, but nope, I got to keep it. ...Hooray for free Pidgey, I guess. I stuck it back in but chose the Noisy Forest stage instead. I had enough watts to go to the Rugged Road, but meh. While there, much more leg-jittering led me to about 400 Bellsprouts (I caught two of them) and a Venonat. No sign of Oddish or Spearow, which is weird because one of those really should have shown up. The Pokeradar thing is weird, it seems like rarer things (like Bellsprout) are actually much easier to find than the common things if you have enough steps registered. I understand how the whole Group A/B/C thing works, but not the chances of running into stuff.
While doing all that, I proceed through Routes 30 and 31, beating a few nondescript trainers along the way, and I nabbed a Geodude and Zubat from Dark Cave. I also got a Rattata earlier, which was uneventful enough to not mention. At Violet City I enter the Gym, accidentally thinking it's the Pokemon Center. It was right next to the mart and had the same general color scheme... not really that hard of a mistake to make. So in the Center, I come across someone asking what type of trainer I want to be (I picked Lass), and some self-important TV star type dude who wants me to tell what I think about him, and I'm like yeah fuck that.
I get out one of the Bellsprouts and trade it to some dude named Rudy for his Onix, which is named Rocky like in the originals. Why? BECAUSE TRADING IS AMAZING OMG NOBODY SHOULD EVER CATCH POKEMON THEMSELVES, JUST GET THEM FROM OTHER PEOPLE YEAH. But seriously though it's just because I wanted to run around with a big Pokemon following me (I was disappointed, it's actually pretty small), and because Rudy is too much of a moron to walk for about two minutes to Route 31 and find his own damn Bellsprout. Might as well deprive the lazy bum of his Onix, since he'll probably end up destroying his house with it anyway.
And then I stopped playing because christ, it's 4 AM and I just spent way too long typing this thing. Stay tuned for more updates if you feel like reading pointless crap.
After waking up for real later on at the crack of noon, I show the Pokewalker to Justin and Joey and they want to mess around with it, so I stick Venonat in there and go to the Rugged Road. And what do I find there? ... Onix. Great. Would have been nice to get a Magby, but apparently I'll have to try again for that, since it's in the same "group" as Onix. Also caught a Hoothoot (which I will almost certainly release later on). No sign of Machop or Ponyta, because the Pokewalker doesn't like letting me find things I won't be seeing in the main game for a while.
I head back to the Pokemon Center to drop off Rocky, who I don't plan on using, and I talk to Primo again. (That weird guy from the TV show or whatever). I yell "FIRE HER SONGS WINS" and he becomes so impressed by my ability to go to filb.de that he hooks me up with a new PC wallpaper. I'd get more but no others have been released yet. So instead I go do some boring shit. Like go to school! Where somebody traded his best Pokemon to the guy next to him for no apparent reason, and someone else is taking notes including "poisoning or burning a Pokemon makes it easier to catch". It also makes it easier to faint before you get a chance to catch it. Great teacher they must have.
Speaking of the fatass, I found him behind the gym asking if I beat Falkner yet. Can't say I did, so he leads me back to the school while spinning around like the moron he is. I can't figure out why he was shadily hanging out behind the gym, but apparently he will teach me how to be "a winner is you", so I'm more curious about the reference to Pro Wrestling for the NES than his whereabouts.
After exploring more of Violet city and the areas around it, I come across the Rock Smash HM near the Sudowoodo roadblock, which is pretty sweet, actually. I wasn't expecting to get that for a while. It'll make my hunt for a Dunsparce much easier, so I'll put that off for now. Instead I catch a Hoppip, Ekans, and Mareep from Route 32. All halfway decent Pokemon, and Mareep's friggin adorable, but I've used it or its evolutions a number of times in the past, so I don't really need to use them again. I also get Weedle, Kakuna, and Spearow from previous routes. And FINALLY find a Machop on the Pokwalker. I gained 230 watts and got down to 42 before finally running into one. I still think that thing hates me, but at least I got one.
Shortly afterwords I put Pidgey in and out of the Pokewalker a couple times until I run into Magby. Team member acquired! I won't be able to nickname it for a while, but that's alright, since I don't really have one in mind anyway. Now I have to record segment 60 of FireRed Omega, so ... yeah. *goes to do that*
*returns from recording it* Well that was a trainwreck... commentary-wise, anyway. Anyways I found a Ponyta on the Pokewalker and nabbed that, along with a second Magby so I can choose the one with the better nature. Neither jumps out at me as being that great, but I decide to go with the Sassy and "highly persistent" one over the Jolly and "often lost in thought" one. The only other thing I could find there is Geodude, so it's not worth the effort. However I just realized I'm a moron and still never caught a Sentret (in the main game or Pokewalker, but specifically the main game), so I go to do that and train Francis some more.
The next few hours happen mainly going to, at, and coming back from Country Buffet, because my family likes to randomly go there 47 times a week ever since tax return money came in. I put Mareep in the Beautiful Beach course and catch Slowpoke, Sunkern, Psyduck, and Staryu (it took a second trip to get the Staryu). Next I decided to head to the Ruins of Alph because I was putting off the Sprout Tower for some reason, so I head there and enjoy the weird new layout of everything. The people there claim that the ruins have existed for a thousand years and have been investigated for at least ten, and then I test their stupidity by checking them out for myself.
First I head to the back of the room and find the word "ESCAPE" written on the wall in mildly difficult to read lettering. Not exactly a tough code to crack there, fellas. So I use the Escape Rope I found through the Dowsing Machine on the Pokewalker and it opens a cave with some crap inside (a couple berries, a couple hippie remedies that I'll be selling immediately), and a hole leads to a room that says "OUR CLAN ENGRAVED WORDS ON THIS PLACE". ... No shit, I'm kinda reading those right now. So ignoring the inappropriately-named Unown, I head into the main chamber where some people are investigating the statues of "ancient Pokemon" which are clearly just Rhydons. Kinda reminds me of the theory that Ruby/Sapphire take place far into the future due to statues of what look like Pidgeots being referred to as ancient bird Pokemon.
So anyways I meander out of there and head into the Kabuto puzzle room, which is now actually even easier than it was before. I gave it to Justin and he solved it in a couple minutes, though most of the time was spent rotating one piece in the wrong spot over and over like 50 times. So it drops me into the chamber and some dude gives me the "Unown Report". Kthx. I save the game because I'm extremely anal and want the first Unown I see and catch to be the letter A.
Much resetting later I run into it, catch it, and name it Arthur. In Pearl I gave names to all the Unowns, 13 male and 13 female. Here I'm going to do the same, giving the opposite gender name from what I used last time. But that's a task for another day, so after some more saving and resetting I get out of there without running into any more, since I want the next one I see to be the letter B. They do show up in the Forms section of the Pokedex, after all. And one time in the original Silver I actually caught them all in reverse order so they'd show up going from A to Z in the Unown Dex. Totally wasn't a waste of an entire day.
I've done pretty much everything else possible now, so I finally head to the Sprout Tower and start dominating the 4 million Bellsprouts the Sages use with Magby, Hedwig (who now has Peck), and Francis (who has a x4 resistance to Vine Whip and finally learned Comet Punch, which sucks but is better than Tackle). Something I thought was kinda cool was how the Pokemon following you react to the pillar swaying in the middle. Some of them feel nervous, and others dance around it. Once I reach the top, Harry is there like usual and gets yelled at for treating his Pokemon badly. Unlike me, I'm super nice to my team. *hides whip* The Elder goes down just as easily as the rest of them, and so I get the Flash HM. ... I mean TM. I was actually kinda wondering how that worked since now Rock Smash was activated by Falkner's badge, then I remembered Flash wasn't an HM anymore. Oh, and I caught a Gastly in the tower too, yay.
One quick trip back to Route 32 later, I am now in the possession of a Wooper, adorable as always. Jenny has a big drawing of a Wooper in her room for some reason, but that's kinda beside the point. Despite being cute (and an axolotl, which is like, the best animal ever), I'm not going to use it because I already used Quagsire a couple times before, like with Ampharos. Now that I have one o' thems, the only thing I'm missing from the Beautiful Beach is Poliwag. I'm also missing Doduo, Nidoran F, Wobbuffet, Paras, and Oddish from the other levels. ... Oops, just unlocked Suburban Area, I guess I can add Magnemite, Elekid, and Murkrow to that list. Which raises an interesting point, because I plan to put Murkrow on my team. I won't tell Hedwig, and I'll have to be sure to use her a lot in the Violet Gym to prove that I don't think she's useless. And actually I might keep her around anyway for Hypnosis, since I don't have a full team yet.
Soooo I go ahead and check out the Suburban Area. I find Hoothoots (boooring) and Magnemites (yay). The downside here is that Magnemite is in both the A and B lists, so I couldn't be totally sure if Elekid was present or not until I hit a "!!!" spot in the grass. And then, much to my surprise, Elekid actually showed up and I caught it. Had to go back into the level again for Murkrow, but it only took one return trip for it, so I'm not complaining. Unfortunately the Murkrow is female, which goes against the name I had planned for it, but it's no biggie. Around this time, I hit midnight and my step count returned to one. My step total for the first day is a whopping 36650. Not bad, considering I didn't really do any actual walking and I didn't put it in a machine or something to get the steps for me.
I think that's about enough for now. I could keep playing, but I'd rather just save the gym for a new day, even though it's going to be really easy. I'll probably end up using Hedwig like planned and ignoring Murkrow, which sorta defies logic and good planning, but I really like to treat my team like real creatures, and I feel bad replacing Hedwig so early into the game when I planned on keeping her around until the Safari Zone. I've never used Noctowl on a permanent team, and this isn't going to be an exception to that, but she'll still have a spot on the team and be treated with equality (despite being one of three Flying types on the team) until another planned team member shows up. Which shouldn't be until after the fourth gym.
For Falkner's Pidgey, I used Hedwig like planned and beat the thing with no challenge whatsoever. Then he sends out his Viridian Forest Pidgeotto, which would probably be more of a threat if it still had Mud Slap like in the original games. I put it to sleep and switch to Magby, thinking Ember might do a decent amount of damage to it. ... It doesn't. But once it woke up, it did get burned. Too bad it has Roost and abuses the crap out of it. Sunny Day helped the damage get added up a bit better, but it was still more of a stall war than anything. Eventually the thing goes down and neither Hedwig nor Magby levels up from it. How anticlimactic. But anyways, I get my first badge (and immediately drop it and lose it forever... except not really) and the Roost TM, which is nice but I probably won't be using it because I hate wasting TMs.
Immediately after leaving, a clusterfuck of activity begins. Or maybe just a couple things happen, but it seemed like a lot. First, Elm calls and says to go pick up the Togepi egg, so I head to the Pokemon Center, and ... the guy isn't there. He's at the mart now. I get the Egg, as well as a Super Potion my mom bought (but never told me about?), and then get interrogated by a Kimono Girl for no reason as soon as I leave. Not sure what her deal was, but she seemed to be turned on by the fact that I had an Egg. Which incidently should hatch pretty quickly since Magby has Flame Body. But I've got other things in mind, first.
After looking on Serebii for Pokemon that would work well for this next task, I decide to go with Wooper as my Rock Smash + Flash slave. I realize I don't really need Flash for Dark Cave, but I'll want it for other caves later on, so might as well use it now. Plus it might be able to learn Whirlpool or something, I didn't check. I head into the now-not-Dark Cave and break open a rock. Oh, there you are, Perry.
Or at least that's what I would say if there wasn't uncertainty involved. But luck was on my side and I got a male Serene Grace Dunsparce just like I wanted. So I named him Perry (a nod to Datai's Shiny Gold playthrough, where he had a Dunsparce named Pari) and he will become a part of my team shortly, as soon as I hatch this damn egg. He's Gentle and "likes to relax", which actually makes sense. Astonishing. Murkrow's Impish with "good perseverance", by the way. So yeah, I run around with the egg for a while (gotta love the auto-run button on the touch screen) and the spawn of Satan hatches from it. Elm IMMEDIATELY calls me, saying he wants to see it. What the hell, does he have a satellite cam or something? How did he know it hatched? Whatever. I get out Perry for the trip and head back to New Bark so I can show him the horror we unleashed upon the world.
On Route 29, I come across Tuscany (which is apparently a name), the Tuesday sibling. She gives me a TwistedSpoon that I will have no use for until much later, and then three seconds later it becomes dark out because it's 7:00 now. I forgot that night came so abruptly, but it was weird as hell. So I go to see Elm, and he's like "Karen? I thought the egg hatched, Karen. Where is that Pokemon, Karen? I want to see it, Karen". I have no response to that.
I show him the hellspawn, he says something about it not being from Johto (of course not, it's from hell, I've been over this already), he mentions something about a legendary Pokemon (what the crap did that have to do with anything), gives me an Everstone (gee, thanks, now I don't have to press B every time I level up Ally. How unhelpful), and probably starts smoking some of the hippie remedies he bought from the shop I sold them to as soon as I leave. Oh, and Togepi starts fidgeting in front of everyone. Jeez, have some shame. Or at least duct tape a Pokewalker to yourself and make yourself useful. So time to trek back to Violet and maybe make progress.
Time to head to Union Cave. Most of the trip will be pretty uneventful but I can point out the funky parts. First I run into a youngster who uses a Rattata and Zubat, then after beating him, claims that they're his prized Pokemon and likes to use them instead of the same tough ones everyone else uses. Well I can't say they're tough, but you're not being terribly original, buddy. It's at this time that I remember I have Rock Smash, and this opens up some new opportunities, so I spend like a half hour breaking the rocks in the Ruins of Alph over and over again (and also I break one in Violet City which leads to a Hyper Potion). You can get some really good stuff from these.
Running from moderately high-leveled Geodudes when you're leading with a Wooper got very tiresome though (since Wooper is about as fast as a slug), so I took my large pile of goodies (old amber, dome fossil, max revives, max ether, and a bunch of shards), then traded the shards to some spaz back in Violet for a bunch of berries. Or should I say BERRIE'S, as this one sprite sheet said. *shudders* Heading further down Route 32, I see the Magnet Train tracks overhead, which is a pretty neat touch. I fight some more generic trainers, and get a few phone numbers in the process, including one from Fisherman Ralph who said he was very excited to make friends with a young girl. ... Maybe I shouldn't have given him my number after all.
One Slowpoketail merchant later (is this really the best place to peddle those things?), I get a free Old Rod and catch a Magikarp with it. OMG EXCITING. I can get Tentacool too (ALSO EXCITING) but it has a sorta low appearance rate so I don't bother. I find a Shell Bell behind a rock, and give it to Perry because he still only has Rage as an attack move, which requires you to get hurt in order for it to become decent, so it works out. I also use Murkrow a bit for the first time, and find that she's sorta ... emo. She stares at the ground a lot, roars (crows can roar now?), and looks at me angrily. I'll be sure to be nice to her and start giving her some positive attention so I don't find a severed Ponyta head in my bed some day.
I'mma have to clean out my "Walker" box in the PC, since I have a lot of duplicates, but it's hard to choose which to get rid of. Also something worth noting is the fact that Wobbuffet actually attacks in the Pokewalker, but only after you attack, so I guess it's still techincally a counter move. They can try to attack you if you evade though. OMG PLOT HOLE ALERT THE AUTHORITIES. Before I start on anything else I decide to stick Togepi in the new Dim Cave course so I can try and get a Smoochum and increase Togepi's happiness at the same time, but first I level it up so it doesn't miss learning Metronome. I hate how you don't learn moves when you level up from the Pokewalker. I also learn that Togepi has Extrasensory in this game, which is pretty kickass actually. I wouldn't mind having a Togetic/Togekiss on my final team, but I already have it decided.
Union Cave sorta comes and goes without too much happening. I do make things way more challenging than they need to be though by fighting Hikers' Geodudes with normal or flying type moves, since I'm trying to get even levels on the team and the only moves I have that are good or neutral against rocks are Water Gun, Pursuit, and Astonish. The layout of the cave is a bit different from its original incarnation, but nothing really stands out. The Firebreathers are weird as always, and the PokeManiacs are wearing some sort of weird green Nidoking costumes now. Gotta love it when they invent Pokemon to dress up as.
Coming out on the painfully short Route 33, I notice that it's raining rather heavily. It wasn't on the other side of the cave, nor is it in Azalea Town, so Kyogre must have a weird sense of humor or something. (And yes I know a Slowpoke's yawn is supposed to make it rain, but ... there aren't any here, they're all in the well.) Anthony gives his number to call about Dunsparce swarms, which obviously I won't be needing, and there's absolutely nothing else worth noting here, so I move on to the town. Kurt is yelling at a Rocket Grunt and then runs off. He doesn't get the balls (get it? Because he makes balls... I'm so clever) to charge into the well until I go and talk to him at his house though. Before checking out the well, I explore the town and find nothing particularly noteworthy, and the same goes for Ilex Forest. So I guess I'll go to the well then.
The well has a different entrance room now, which is actually fairly neat looking. Ally likes splashing around in the puddle, so I tried sticking Magby in it to see what his reaction would be, and he hated it. I'm surprised that was programmed so well, honestly. That surprise goes away when none of my Pokemon react to the tail-less Slowpokes standing around. So I fight some generic grunts and then fight Executive Proton, who I'm sure I'll forget about later on like I did with the executives in Team Galactic. So I beat him rather easily and they clear out. Kurt offers to make me some balls and I decline because I don't like using those, I stick to regular Pokeballs. Which is a shame because some of the ones he makes are pretty cool. I might use them on Pokemon where they get no benefit just for variety.
I couldn't remember if the rival challenges you now or not until after you beat the gym, so I save and ... yeah, he does now. I'm kinda underleveled so I just reset and I'll deal with him later. No sign of Smoochum in the Pokewalker, but at least I got a decent number of watts and a Gastly that has Destiny Bond 25 levels earlier than it normally would (not like I'll be using it, but still). The gym shouldn't be a challenge at all, so I might try and do that tonight. Getting through the game may not take that long, but writing these updates and editing the images does.
About four years later I finally catch Smoochum. They kept doing nothing but evading, it was hella annoying. But now I have all the ... whatever you want to call that trio. The FireRed Omega starters. Anyways time for the gym, and holy crap is it changed. Instead of being a fairly boring setup, you now ride giant Spinaraks through webs, and you have to figure out where it will end up based on the path. I know there's a name for these things but I can't think of it. So I fight all the trainers (going back to heal a couple times, because surprisingly I took some decent damage, mostly through poison and because Paras's Effect Spore put Ally to sleep) and get ready to fight the androgynous-as-always Bugsy (who is male, for the record). Francis learned several team support moves when he reached level 14, so I went with Reflect and Safeguard. Light Screen's not as important because as a whole, my team has better special defense than physical.
Bugsy leads with Scyther, which surprises me. Hedwig takes some heavy damage, so I switch to Perry to try and Glare it, but it U-Turns away and Metapod comes out. So I switch back to Hedwig and slowly Peck it to death while taking turns to heal as necessary. Scyther comes back out, and this time I try to damage it with Magby (who dies to quick attack) and Ally (who dies to U-turn). Kakuna goes down to a few Pecks by Murkrow, so all I have left to deal with is this bitch of a Scyther.
I decided to lead with Francis to get up a Reflect and confuse it, but things end up working out way too well for me. It hits itself in confusion many times and I'm able to get it down to like 1 HP before Francis finally faints. Since I have a Reflect already up, I'm able to let Hedwig take a weakened Quick Attack and finish it off. That battle was surprisingly difficult. Levels may not be much different from the originals, but movepools certainly are, and my team isn't all that great. So I get the badge along with the TM for U-Turn. And holy crap am I tempted to use this TM, but I can't bring myself to do it. Francis desperately needs a new attack move though, and it won't be getting any naturally for a pretty long time. So I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing. Anyway, I still have a rival fight to take care of.
Gastly dies to Murkrow's Pursuit in one hit. I think it criticalled, but I'm not sure. Next comes Zubat with its confusion hax, so Ally did a pretty bad job against it, but then he switched to Bayleef. I have a stallwar with it, using Magby (it abuses Synthesis, I use a ton of potions to counteract Poisonpowder and try to whittle it down with Embers). Finally it falls after like ten years and so just the Zubat is left, which Magby also finishes off, thanks to luck with Supersonic missing a bunch. And with that, Harry gets pissed off like the sore loser he is and goes to do whatever it is he does. As for me, I'll just buy some more potions, heal up, and take a break after these two moderately challenging battles. (By the way, for the trainer card at the top of the page, I'm counting rematches [such as with Harry] as separate trainers, and Twins as just one, since they always fight together)
So who are the newcomers? I decided to go with a Paras and male Nidoran. Paras gets Spore, which is a good replacement for Hypnosis, and ... well, might not be that useful compared to other choices I could have made, but I wanted to give it a try. It's a female who is Careful and "highly persistant". Nidoran is Serious and "likes to fight". I picked him sorta at random, since surprisingly, I've never actually used any of the Nidoran family before and decided to try one out until I reach my replacement, which won't be for a while. I chose the male simply because I had three females on the team already and wanted to make it balanced. He has the Rivalry ability, which means he doesn't want to hit a girl, but will go all-out against other dudes in an attempt to prove his worth. Not a wonderful matchup against a certain cow-using gym leader coming up soon, but we can make things work.
I had to grind them a lot to match the levels of the rest of the team, which took a pretty long time. While doing this I tried to multitask and get a bunch of stuff from the Blue Lake course. It took almost as long as the grinding did, but eventually I caught Poliwag (even though I already have one), Goldeen, Krabby, Shellder, and Dratini. Tentacool continued to be uncharacteristically elusive. So I tried to get one to randomly join me by gaining watts without a Pokemon taking a stroll, but I only came across Goldeens. So I had to go back to Route 32 and fish like 47,000 times to find one, because the random number generator hates me. But now I finally have one so I can move on without feeling like I'm missing something.
So time to hunt down some Farfetch'd. Unfortunately I don't have a Zapper and annoying laughing dog, so I'll have to ... step on sticks? Yeah, they changed how you catch the Farfetch'd, it's a bit more interesting now. You have to step on sticks to make them turn around and then rape them from behind. The boss comes back and is all leik "You found Far and Fetch'd!" I guess they should be thankful they're not Hoothoots or else there would be a lot of confusion when they were referred to by name. Horsea would also suffer from a problem. "Hor, get over here!" I could waste more time with that one, trying to think of funny names... maybe later on.
So I get the Cut HM, and then head back to the town to get a Charcoal for Magby. While I'm thinking about it, I give Paras a Silverpowder that I found from the Pokewalker. And I teach Cut to ... Ally. It might seem like a dumb choice, but out of my three team members who can learn it (Ally, Nidoran, and Paras), Ally takes the longest to learn a better normal type move, and none of them are going to be permanent team members anyway. So it's not a huge deal. I travel further into the forest and reach the headbutt tutor, so I teach it to Perry, who will benefit from the flinchhax. I also give it to Nidoran.... and Magby. And Ally can learn it too but I already gave her Cut, which is a significantly worse move. Um.... oops? *feels like a moron now*
Time to headbutt meh some trees. I kinda really hate this system. I'm probably the only person in the world who wanted the honey trees from D/P/Pt to return. People hated them because you had to check back later in the day, but that's why I liked them - they're not quite as mindless. You didn't have to keep doing stuff to a ton of trees over and over again, you just do it once and then you don't have to worry about it for a while. Munchlax was an asshole though, I don't know why they made it so rare. So anyway I find a Beedrill and Noctowl. I caught the Beedrill, but the Noctowl died to a critical hit. Luckily I was able to run into another... which also dies to a critical hit. Then I find a Pineco, which explodes. Uh.... gimme a minute here.
*cartoonish violence noises are heard*
Ok I'm back... got Pineco and Noctowl, but it took friggin forever. I ran into a Kimono Girl in the woods, and Murkrow led her to the exit for some reason. What is this I don't even. Also, after catching the Noctowl, I got a phone call from Professor Oak. It went exactly like this: "Hello, this is Professor Oak. You're catching a lot of Pokemon, aren't you?" ...And what? That's it? You're catching a lot of Pokemon, and here's a million dollars? Or... you're catching a lot of Pokemon, and here's your own spaceship? I mean what the f- oh no, I get it. They got him! Somebody stuck him with a stake through the heart! Oh... this is so sad! Oh Samuel... I pine for you. D:
Stupidity aside, time to head back to Azalea. Why? Well, because selfdestructing Pinecos wiped out about half of my team, but also because apparently I can find Aipom and Heracross there. *Mounts Perry onto a crossbow like A Whore's dog, Anal* So I come across a Heracross pretty quickly, and it's only level 4. I Yawn it to sleep and switch to Paras to use Leech Life a couple times. It looks like it can take one more hit, and then this exact sequence of events occurs:
Me: "Paras, if you critical right now, I'm going to be very upset with you."
HERACROSS used Endure!
PARAS used Leech Life!
A critical hit!
HERACROSS endured the hit!
... I have no idea what the hell just happened, but that was like, simultaneously the luckiest and unluckiest thing to have ever happened. The Heracross then proceeded to break out of my last Pokeball, three Premier Balls, and a Lure Ball before I finally got it in my other Lure Ball. Aipom came shortly afterwards and was no trouble to catch. So now I think I can finally move on to Route 34.
The first trainer here is a Youngster named Samuel. ... Uhh, yeah, you wouldn't be related to Samuel Oak, would you? Because he kinda just died from a stake through the heart a few minutes ago. And ... *turns around slowly* Celebiiiiiii, what the hell did you do? I've seen Pokemon 4Ever, and I can piece things together. This is Sammy, the child version of Oak, isn't it? He even says he wants to be a Gym Leader, and I think Oak had dreams like that before becoming a Professor. Or maybe this has something to do with Blue/Gary being a gym leader or professor depending on whether you're talking about the games or anime. ... Whatever's going on here, I know Celebi is behind it.
Wait, no, I've got it! Sammy Oak was actually Timmy Turner, and Celebi is Cosmo, and Gary was his cool imaginary friend made real, who lived out two different dreams in different alternate universes. And later on the route is Youngster Ian, who has a Diglett. Maybe he grows up to be Pokemaster Ian from Bargo the Bikdip, who was gay and very perverted. That would explain the Diglett! It all makes sense! (Except not really, now I'm just being stupid on purpose). Later on the route, Ethan talks to the Day Care Man, who is apparently his grandpa, and then starts getting all shy because his grandma assumes I'm his girlfriend. Uh, no. I've got like, higher standards than someone who only has a Marill and doesn't even evolve it. Like... you know? *chews gum obnoxiously*
After getting assaulted by a policeman (he thought my Paras was smuggling drugs, then his Growlithe confirmed that they were normal, unharmful mushrooms), I beat some generic Camper named Todd who may or may not be the same Todd who once starred in Pokemon Snap (and he had a Psyduck too, which was that one chef's favorite Pokemon who let them eat for free... what is it with this route and making me think of random shit like that, seriously). Then I can finally head to Goldenrod for some name changes. There's stuff to catch back on Route 34, but I'll grab them tomorrow, I want to get a move on already.
Magby becomes Beavis. Maybe not the most flattering name, but it does get quite the Butt-head when it evolves, so I think it's fitting. Can you think of a better Magmar name? I certainly can't. At least it's better than FREESEX, the one I had in Blue. ... Don't ask, it was from something similar to this text LP but for the original Silver.
Murkrow becomes Lenore, named after the character from The Raven. I was going to just go with Edgar or Allan, but Lenore works too. And to be honest, I really don't know enough about the poem or Poe in general to make any sort of intelligent reference, but it sounds nice.
Nidoran becomes Randy. This one was just sorta random, because I couldn't think of a good name for him, so I just played with the letters in "Nidoran" and came up with that. I could have gone with "Diego" for reasons similar to Perry, but ........ no.
And lastly, Paras becomes Fleur. "Hilton" would have been the obvious name, but I decided to go for something slightly less obvious and just used a French-sounding name - in this case, named after the Harry Potter character.
So that's all for tonight. Tomorrow, I catch some stuff, explore the city, and probably play Voltorb Flip for 17 hours.
Still didn't really accomplish anything aside from catching a bunch of Pokemon. I get Drowzee, Ditto, and Exeggcute from Route 34 (Exeggcute from a tree), and Koffing, Voltorb, Abra, Grimer, and Furret from the new Pokewalker course, the Town Outskirts. Which is the last course I can unlock until after I get the National Dex, by the way. The course was surprisingly cooperative - I found all six Pokemon in only two trips. (I didn't catch Rattata, but I did see it in there).
Unfortunately that's all I have for today. Had a pretty crummy day in general.
The radio is crazy in this game. You can get poor reception on it if you move the signal dot thing to certain spots, which causes the text to get all broken up. In addition to the music station and Oak's Pokemon talk thing, there's also this one with radio shows and commercials... it's really stupid, and rather hilarious. There was some story about a guy named Maximo who was very angry because life was too boring, so he throws a rock. And then an old man yells at him for being angry and says to try the Pokeathlon, or something to that extent. I think the episodes they play are random, and there seems to be at least three different stories. There's also a pointless thing about towns of the game, and I think Buena's Password is supposed to be on here somewhere too but I didn't see it.
I check the Department Store to see if there's anything I want, and there isn't. So I check out the creepy basement place. I don't know why, but I've always gotten a really bad vibe from there, and I don't like how it's connected to the off-limits area where the Rockets later hide. I also didn't get what determines when the crates move so you can reach items. Well, now the Machokes just move the crates for you, so that's one less thing to worry about. I check out the Underground, and run into Ethan again, who gives me a Fashion Case. Guess what I'll never be using! :D
Actually I do try it out, because there's a guy who gives you random accessories. Or not. You pay him, and then he says if you win or lose, but I think he just makes it up. I dress Ally up with a moustache and professor hat, and it sucks horribly so I'm like yeah screw that. There's also a photo opportunity where you get to wear a Team Rocket costume, so I did that. Ally got cut off, unfortunately. But this is also the last time we get to see Randy like this, since he evolved in the next battle against some Magnemites. Yay, first evolution of the game! The only other thing worth noting down there is the Super Nerd with a robotic Pikachu who got kicked out of the Voltorb Flip building for allegedly cheating. What, was he using that online calculator thing? (I've seen it but haven't used it).
I forgot to mention earlier - there's a person in the Dept. Store who wants a Drowzee for a Machop. I already have a Machop, and this loser could go get his own Drowzee outside the city anyway. Plus, if I gave it to him, how do I know he won't use it to assist him in raping someone? Keep the Machop and work in the creepy basement or something. I don't want your Macho Brace either. So anyway, since I assume I'm nowhere near ready for Whitney yet, I decide to battle all the trainers I can first. So heading up through Route 35, I encounter many of them, a few of which I can try to force some humor out of. The first trainer has a Vulpix, which I fight with Fleur. Rather than taking advantage of its 4x fire attacks, it uses Roar and Ally comes out. Great strategy.
Next up is a boyfriend/girlfriend. The girl says the boy is really weak and unreliable, but he has two Pokemon compared to the girl's one, and his Sandshrew could probably take on her Pikachu anyway, so I'm not sure what's up with them. The Juggler who used to say "behold my graceful BALL dexterity" is here, but they changed his line. I'm kinda surprised, since they allowed stuff like "what's wrong with two buff guys standing side by side" in D/P/Pt. But whatever. Next is a Fire Breather with two illegal Magmars, which happen to be the same level as Beavis. He manages to take down one of them, which is pretty neat. There's also Bug Catcher Arnie, who will call about Yanma swarms at some point, which will be helpful. Then there's some weird semi-hidden Bird Keeper who's team is exactly like Falkner's but higher levels. Remind me again why he's a gym leader?
I do get a Vulpix and Stantler though. Stantler was sorta annoying because the first one I found killed itself by getting poisoned through Effect Spore. I wasn't too happy about that. Aside from that, there was a free Quick Claw that I gave to Ally (she's surprisingly slow, tied with Perry and slightly faster than Fleur) and some trainers to fight, none of whom stand out to me. There's a Pokefan hugging plush Bonslies for no reason (they're not even native to this region) and another who has a Raichu that apparently doesn't like him very much, but he says that being a Pokefan is all about caring for your Pokemon anyway. I guess that makes sense, but maybe the reason it hates him is because he's a grown man with a Pikachu shirt who has a son in a Pikachu costume. I mean, what the hell. And maybe it didn't want to evolve and these are just unfriendly reminders.
So back to Goldenrod, I finally check out the gym. It's still shaped like a Clefairy, but it's sort of a stretch. And there's some weird walkability issues behind some of the walls. The girls here all use female Pokemon, which means Randy's Double Kick (my only fighting move) is weakened. But whatever, none of them pose a threat anyway. And I manage to reach Level 18 with all Pokemon by the time I beat the last trainer. This includes Ally, who evolves - except not, because I'd rather keep her as a Totodile. Kinda coincidental, since the trainer who gave me the exp to trigger the evolution said "I like cute Pokemon better than strong ones". Me too, apparently.
You should all know what's coming next - Whitney, the gym leader everyone loves to hate. To be honest I've never had too much of a problem with her in the past. I've beaten her with nothing but Togepi's Metronome before (I wanted to get the happiness boost so it could evolve). But I wasn't feeling too confident about this one. I lead with Lenore against Clefairy... sorta a random choice, but she's weak to Rollout, and won't get hit by Cute Charm, so it works out. Clefairy dies to two Wing Attacks. Has that thing ever been a threat? So next comes the big guns - Whitney's fat pink bitch cow, Miltank. Which incidently is right next to the other fat pink bitch in the Pokedex - Blissey. But that's beside the point.
My planned strategy for this thing was to fight Rollout with Rollout. So I send in Fleur to get in a Spore. Then it wakes up with a Lum Berry. .... FACK. So I manage to get in another one without dying. I switch over to Perry and use Defense Curl (it boosts the power of Rollout, you know), and ... it wakes up and uses Attract. Beautiful. Well whatever, I'll just roll with it. Or not, because screw the rollout strategy. Can't build power well when I have a 50% chance of not attacking. So instead I Glare it (not only so it has a chance of not attacking, but so I can outspeed the damn thing) and start abusing Headbutt, going for as much of a cheap paraflinch strategy as I can muster.
This would work fairly well if not for the fact that Attract is preventing me from attacking half the time, so it keeps getting in Stomps and Milk Drinks. Eventually it starts up a Rollout sweep and refuses to fall prey to flinch or paralysis, so Perry goes down and I have to sacrifice a couple other team members until the paralysis finally kicks in. I have Ally out at the time, so I figure I'll make the best of the situation and Leer at it like 4 times before Ally goes down too. Well now that its defense is so low, Rivalry won't have as much as an effect. Randy comes in, tries the redneck past-time of cow tipping by Double Kicking it, and emerges victorious. Can't say that battle went the way I planned, but I didn't have to reset or anything, so I'd call it a pretty good victory. One crying session later, the Plain Badge and Attract TM are mine. Next? Probably the Pokeathlon. It sounds kinda neat.
In the Dome itself, I explore around and talk to everybody so I can try and learn about this place. Apparently it has some history to it, despite the fact that this is the first game that ever had it. And I run into Maximo from the radio show. I wasn't aware he was a real person. And furthermore, he's the big brother of the "big brother" in the Violet Pokemon Center who gives you wallpapers. How ... random. And then I bump into Whitney (I'd like to bump into her in certain other ways, a-hur a-hur), who gives me a new outfit (some jogging suit sort of thing, I don't really remember). And much like with the D/P/Pt contests, my character has no problem changing clothes in front of everyone.
So anyways, time to try out some of these events. First I choose the Jumping one, and the three Pokemon I use are Francis (I knew I'd find a use for him), Ally, and ... Perry. Yeah, I didn't think a Dunsparce would be good at jumping either, but apparently he is. The first event is the Lamp Jump, where you stretch down some weird springy surface thing and then bounce up to light lamps. This is quite possibly the most retarded event out of all of them, so it was a really bad first impression. So anyway I suck at that one, I suck at the next, where you catch frisbees (but I was apparently the only one who scored at all, what the hell was up with the other people), and the last one is a pretty basic hurdle race. I didn't think I did very well, but I still got first place somehow. Go me?
Since that one went surprisingly well, I try out the Skill category with Hedwig, Lenore, and Fleur. First is a snowball fight. I had no idea what I was doing until it was almost over, but I think you basically want to just throw snow at everyone as quickly as you can, and keep a big snowball handy to block other ones from hitting your team. Next is Goal Roll, which is basically like the kickball game in Banjo-Tooie, but much more annoying. I try to keep one Pokemon as the goalie and have the others cover the field to get ready when balls appear, but somehow I manage to mess it up. And the last event is Pennant Capture, which is pretty much what it sounds like. You run around and get flags, then go back to the start and tag out for another Pokemon. There didn't seem to be much of a strategy. And what a surprise - I won, despite not knowing what I was doing. I'm starting to see a pattern develop.
Next set of events - Power, with Randy, Ally, and Beavis. First is the Block Smash, where you rapidly tap the screen to break blocks and stuff. You just have to switch out after every set of blocks so your Pokemon don't get too tired. If they have good Stamina, you can probably go at least two rounds, but whatever. It's really easy, but unfortunately the opponents are good at it too. Next is the Circle Push, where not much pushing takes place. You have to get your Pokemon to stand in circles and remain in them when the time runs out, and you're supposed to try and push the opponents out of the way, but nobody really did that. And last was just the Goal Roll again, which I sucked at even worse than last time. Like it even matters, because I won again. Not by very much, though.
Later in the day I got around to trying the others. For the Speed course, I pick Lenore, Francis, and Randy. It starts off with the Hurdle Dash again, which is old hat now, so there's not much I need to say about it. I'm a lot better now though, since I know that jumping at the last second gives you a speed boost. Next is the Pennant Capture.. again, nothing new. I think I actually did way worse this time, but still came out on top. And the last one is finally something new, the Relay Run. However, it's basically Pokemon Dash. You just keep dragging the stylus across the screen to make your Pokemon run and dodge stuff, and you switch when necessary. Which I think makes it more interesting than Pokemon Dash... and that is very, very sad. The fact that that game even exists sorta bothers me at times. Anyway I win overall, big deal.
The final course is in Stamina, and I go with Lenore again, Fleur, and Beavis. First is a sumo wrestling-ish thing called Ring Drop, which I utterly fail at and actually have to reset the game for, but then I do a bit better. You're supposed to knock other Pokemon off the table, and you can apparently switch whenever you want but it didn't seem to let me, so I just fell off all the time. Next is the Relay Run again. So much for being new. Jump gets two games to itself and Speed doesn't get any. Well, whatever. I dominate at that one again. And lastly is the Block Smash, which I do sorta badly at but get second place. This was the hardest of all the courses, but I still manage to beat it, which means I can get into ... some sort of back area thing.
I head into said back area thing and it seems like my next goal is to get all five medals on one Pokemon. Lenore already has three so I try to do it for her. I get through the Jump course again and win (the other teammates were Hedwig and Randy), and then try the Power course and come in a distant fourth place, because my team was terrible. The other ones I used were Perry and ... I think Hedwig again. Perry's the only one on that team with a 3/5 rating in the Power stat, the other two were lower. I got enough points to buy a Moon Stone, so I buy that and sulk out. I know I shouldn't be bothered by this, but I am. I don't think I'll be trying the Pokeathlon again for quite a while, if ever. Why yes, I am a sore loser, why do you ask? I don't see the point in playing games if I can't be good at them, so screw it. I give up.
I take my anger out on Sudowoodo, who luckily doesn't put up much of a fight, so I caught it in one Pokeball. And I was going to just stop right there, but then the guy standing there randomly gave me Berry Pots. The hell? I guess this lets you grow berries, which is pretty nice, I'll admit. So I plant a few, ride up to Route 37, and now I'm done. Hopefully I'll stop being angry at the game for making me lose one out of seven times when I used a crappy team on purpose.
So I got the Rest TM from him, and Roar from someone on Route ... 32, is it? The one south of Violet. I thought Tuscany gives a Ribbon if you talk to her a second time, but nope. Maybe you have to get the items from all seven siblings first. So anyway, now I'm just searching through the Ruins of Alph to get all the possible Unown. This might take a while...
[Several years later] Well I've got all the ones that appear in the first wave. Arthur, Bernard, Clarence, Devin, Evanna, Fiona, Gina, Hortense, Isaac, and Jasmine. (Why yes, Hortense is named after the character from Dr. McNinja. And Devin is a reference to Datai's Gardevoir, and Evanna is the actress who plays Luna Lovegood. Fiona's one of my best friends. And Jasmine is one of Jenny's friends. The rest are pretty much random)
And since it's Tuesday, I can do the Bug Catching Contest again. I happened to run into a Pinsir fairly early on, which ... poisoned itself through Effect Spore. Goddamn it. Obviously I can't put it to sleep now, and I don't want to weaken it, so I just threw a ball and caught the thing immediately. Gotta love it when things go wrong and then work out anyway. And not only that, but I won the contest too. Not like I have much use for a Sun Stone at this point (Bellossom's my favorite Pokemon, but I've used it twice before, and Sunflora... kinda blows, plus I'm using one in FireRed Omega), but it's nice to win it anyway. Not sure if I'll get to much else tonight.
[Several years later again] I'd say I got to much else tonight. And I don't care if that was grammatically incorrect. So anyways, I head into the Dancing Studio to fight the Kimono Girls, but there's only one of them there, and a Team Rocket goon. Who does a weird dance. And this upsets everyone for some reason. Uh... ok... so I go and fight him (he has a single Koffing) and everyone basically treats me like their new messiah for some bizarre reason. And I get the Surf HM. Why was that so easy? And why does the guy have a Psyduck now and not a Rhydon? I liked the surfing Rhydon. Well... whatever. At this point I have a number of choices. I can check out the Burnt Tower, head west to Olivine, or head east to Mahogany.
I go for the one that I've never tried before and will probably be the least helpful - east to Mahogany. Pretty much immediately after entering the route, a hiker runs out of the cave and slams into me. In an attempt to not make me cry, he gives me the Strength HM. ... Seriously? I kinda hated how it was in a random house before, but I just got the one for Surf like two minutes ago. Well whatever, Whitney's badge allows me to use Strength anyway, so I teach it to Randy, give Surf to Ally, and head into Mt. Mortar. This place is pretty much as useless as it used to be. I spent a fair amount of time exploring, but didn't come across anything too spectacular. There was a trainer in there who had a Nidoking though, which Randy beat the tar out of. Woot.
There's a few more trainers on this route, so after thrashing them I head to the town to see if I get kicked out or anything. And I do not. I guess this part of the game really is that non-linear. I could probably go get the Gyarados right now aside from the fact that I can't use Surf out of battle. There's a building here with a funky tree with an antenna sticking out of it, and a sign says "Just a Souvenir Shop - Nothing Suspicious about It No Need to Be Alarmed". I'm not making up that capitalization - they really did capitalize "it" but not "about". Inside is a radio broadcasting some funky sounding shiz. It's all like, weird, and stuff. Yeah. I can't get into the gym, and the route to the east is blocked by a RageCandyBar salesman. I buy one, it has no purpose whatsoever, and he still doesn't move. Might as well head back... wait. OMG.
I dash up to Route 43 and find a ... Flaaffy. Ok whatever, catching you, screw you I want a- YAY, GIRAFARIG. I wasn't planning to get one this early. And actually... hold that thought. It's about 10:45, and Kurt will have balls ready for me by midnight if I take them there now. Imma do that. And while waiting I might as well check out some stuff I can access with Strength. Slowpoke Well has a boulder I can push, but it leads to nothing until I have Surf. Union Cave has nothing either. I was almost positive I could get into one of the alternate Ruins of Alph areas, but guess not. Guess I'll just check out Dark Cave.
So much backtracking later, I arrive at Dark Cave (with Wooper for Flash/Rock Smash) and do some explorin'. It sorta branches off in a couple different paths, leads to a few items, and then dumps me out on Route 46. No way to access Wobbuffet or Teddiursa yet, unfortunately. There's some trainers here though... two on one side, one on the other, and you can't go both ways in one trip. *sigh* Whatever, I have time to kill, I'll fight them all. *does that, and then wastes even more time grinding Fleur and Beavis up to Level 20 like the rest of my team* Finally it's time for me to head back and get my Love Balls from Kurt, so I do that and get pissed off at about 147 wild Pokemon along the way.
Another 147 wild encounters later, I get back to Route 43 and SON OF A BITCH I FORGOT I DIDN'T FIGHT THIS TRAINER GO TO HELL. I want my giraffe, dammit. So way too many encounters later, I come across a female Girafarig, which I catch in a Love Ball without any trouble. Why a Love Ball? Because I'm naming it after my girlfriend, Jenny. (She loves giraffes.) This is one of my permanent team members, so that means I'mma have to kick someone off the team. I could be symbolic and shit and kick off Ally, but ... eh. I decide to go with Randy. I actually planned on getting rid of Perry, but I prefer flinchhax over ... whatever it is Randy does. Sorry buddy... you're going into the box. I'll see you for the Pokeathlon sometime. But now I've got my new and shiny Girafarig and I am happeh.
Jenny's a Lonely nature and "Somewhat of a clown". I guess that kinda fits her namesake's personality a bit, but she's more of a dork than a clown, and I'd like to think that she's not as lonely without me. But since we live in different states... yeah. :(
Oh, and I know nobody cares, but since this is a Pokeballs only challenge and using a Love Ball on a female with a male sent out gives a HUGE multiplier, I have to prove that I had a female sent out and received no bonus. So... behold.
After doing that, the next room was open, where now the requirement is to beat the default record for each event. I've already done it for all but two without trying. The two I missed were the snowball fight and pennant race thing. Both are in the Skill course, so I just tried that one a bunch of times and eventually got it. By the way, there's little crown things you can earn by getting good enough records. These records didn't seem to be stated anywhere, but whatever. So after beating all the default records, the next room opened. And ... well damn. It's a gold room with a statue of me and my three best scoring Pokemon. I guess that was all I had to do... and it wasn't even that hard.
And Magnus, the founder dude thing, was there to congratulate me, saying that my challenges have only begun. I'm about to see what he means, when Liz calls and says it's a wrong number. Dammit Liz, now is not the time. At least it wasn't Joey with his stupid Rattata though, or Irwin the stalker. Anyways, looking at my statue, it lists all the crowns I've won, and I've still got a bunch left. I've got four Collective, three Trust, three Potential, and six Friendship. I'll figure out what all this means at some later time. But it turns out I actually don't have to do anything else if I don't want, since doing that got me a trainer card upgrade. That's pretty awesome, actually. Didn't see that one coming.
Time to finally check out the Burned Tower. It's ... well, burned. And Eusine is there, about three feet away from Morty, who is about ten feet away from Harry. Well hello there. Eusine says there's "more than meets the eye to [me]". So what, you're saying I'm a Registeel in disguise? (There's no way that thing's cry is a coincidence.) Morty's just sorta hanging out not doing much, so I go and fight Harry. Jenny takes out his Gastly and Zubat with no challenge whatsoever, and Beavis does the same to Bayleef and Magnemite. I'm underleveled, and still kicking your ass, and you're calling me the weakling? Whatever, go cry to daddy. I think he's hiding in a cave somewhere. OOPS SPOILERS. Oh, and I catch a Raticate. I don't feel like looking for Magmar because Beavis will evolve eventually anyway.
There's a couple Firebreathers here, talking about the fire that destroyed the tower and killed the Pokemon inside (totally the Eeveelutions). Yeah, continue to practice your stunts here, it's totally not insensitive. Kinda like standing in the remains of the World Trade Center and complaining about how strict airport security is. Jackasses. In the basement I put on a giant mask and yell OOGA BOOGA BOOGA to scare away the beasts. Suicune runs up to me and does some sort of interpretive dance, then leaves with the others. Stupid dog. Eusine comes up and says some shit about never being closer to Suicune before... well that's because you're too much of a wuss to come down here until after it left. Dipshit. Also, I just realized, this is like the opposite of Mesprit being the one runner of its trio after approaching you.
After going back to raid the place of any decent items (there weren't any... the Taunt TM doesn't count as decent), I head to the gym. Jenny's still level 18. Three trainers later, she's 21 and still going strong. Wow, this gym certainly is a challenge. Cough sarcasm cough. They did make it a lot weirder though. Instead of walking on invisible floors, everything's just dark and the small lights that do exist go away after beating trainers, which requires you to just guess or leave on purpose to make them come back. Why? I have no idea. So anyway, I reach the self-iimportant Morty, who thinks he's going to meet Ho-oh or something. With a Gengar, you'd be better off hunting Raikou and Entei, since people on GameFAQs still refuse to believe that Wobbuffet works just as well and with less preparation.
So basically, here's how the battle goes. I send out Perry and use Glare, then Rollout. Morty can't do jack shit about it and I one-shot his first Haunter and his Gengar. GG. It was partially due to luck, since Hypnosis missed me, but still, jesus. I switch out for the second Haunter because I take pity on him, and Lenore finishes things up. I could have used Jenny, but she's already a high enough level and I'm taking pity on this guy. Ghost moves won't hit Jenny. (Dark's super effective though, and he has Sucker Punch though, so ... meh.) Anyway, that was simple as pie, so I've got my next badge and the Shadow Ball TM (which is tempting, but nah). Next destination: Olivine City! (I could do a few sidequests first but I want to get there for other reasons.)
For the rest of the day I do a bunch of minor stuff, which I will now attempt to explain as briefly as possible. First I end up heading to Olivine to get the Good Rod, and then immediately realize it will not really help me yet, so I head back. I do this without fighting any trainers, somehow. So basically now I have to wait until daytime before I can get my new team member, but there's a bunch of other crap I can take care of. I start by heading back to New Bark Town. Passing through Cherrygrove on the way, I get a free MysticWater and catch Tentacruel. Basically, anywhere that has water is now something I want to explore for items and junk. Anyway, like I said, back to New Bark.
I pass through the town without even saying hi to Mom and Surf off to the east, taking my first step into Kanto OMG YEY SO EXCITING. I like how the game makes a big deal out of it, because it actually is sorta neat in a way, but the effect is lost on me because I've already done this in the originals. So I head into Tohjo Falls (I love that name) and catch a Golbat and Seaking. There's no items to pick up or anything so I just head back, catch a Chinchou in New Bark (guess the Good Rod wasn't totally pointless) and continue on my quest for random crap. Lanturn sounds like a really good Pokemon to have on my team, by the way, but I already have a more obscure one planned out. You might be able to figure out what it is already.
Heading back up from Cherrygrove I catch a Poliwhirl and try to level up Fleur, since she's falling behind. I get her up to level 21 and then realize she doesn't learn Slash until 22. I desperately need a better move, so I stick her in the Pokewalker for a while and get just enough steps so it's almost a new level but not quite, since you stupidly don't learn new moves if you level up from that thing. Seems like a serious design flaw to me, even the Daycare gives you new moves. But whatever, I have Slash now. And I check Dark Cave again, only to find that there's absolutely nothing in there except a single Hyper Potion and Wobbuffet.. which I already have from the Pokewalker. Lame. Maybe the Ruins of Alph will provide more material.
Guess what? It doesn't. I go there, find a pointless dead-end, catch a Quagsire, and then enter another section of the Ruins. The Unowns on the wall say "Light", so I use Wooper's Flash and open up a room with some stuffs in it, including Trogdor's arm, some green cocaine, and a Moon Stone that renders the one I bought redundant, especially since I'm not evolving Randy. After saving, I solve the next puzzle (an Aerodactyl) and learn that this was not the set of Unowns I wanted to release yet, since I want to see and catch them all in order, so I reload and leave that puzzle alone from now. Heading north from here, I find Arthur of Thursday and get a Hard Stone. I already had one but sure why not.
About this time, I got a call from Picnicker Gina, who has a present for me. I was going to head in that area (Route 34, south of Goldenrod) anyway, so sounds good to me. Turns out to be a Leaf Stone. Some surfing later, I find a trio of sisters who outlevel me pretty significantly and almost beat me, actually. Thank god I had Revives. (And was able to retreat to a pokemon center before fighting the third, who I then beat without even taking damage due to Jenny's awesomeness. She learned Psybeam a while back btw, and can now Baton Pass Agilities if I ever feel compelled to do that). The sisters give me a ... Power Herb, which lets you use a charge-up move without charging up. And is a one-time thing. I thought they gave you Soft Sand, but this might be useful for the Frontier or something maybe probably not.
I'm still trying to find places to surf around in, so I head to Ilex Forest and find some item that I don't remember and a Golduck. Gettin tons of water types tonight. Slowpoke Well's next up, and there I get my 400th Rain Dance TM (found a ton of those with the Pokewalker), a King's Rock, and after like four years of searching, a Slowbro. That leaves Union Cave, which I just go through without doing anything, find a Heart Scale on Route 32, and then call it quits for the night. Partially because I think Union Cave has trainers in it and I want my new team member to get some experience off them, partially because I had to write way too much for this update. See ya tomorrow.
Then I just got the Good Rod and wandered around the town for a bit. There's a fisherman who wants a Krabby for a Voltorb. Might as well give him one, but ... you can find Krabby right here in the city. Must be a pretty crappy fisherman. Screw that, just get better. There's also a hint about where to get the Strength HM from the guy who used to give it to you, which is nice I guess. But for now all I care about is doing some fishing of my own - not for a Krabby, but a.. Corsola! There you are! I catch it with much difficulty and find that it has.. Hustle. RESET TIME. So after trying again I get one with Natural Cure. That's what I'm talking about.
This Corsola is my new team member. I wanted to use one because I don't think I've ever given it any thought whatsoever after catching it in each game you find it in. And it's not too bad either - it learns lots of good moves, it just has sorta bad stats. But anyways, my Corsola, named Coraline (no, I haven't seen the movie or read the book, but I like the name), is Lax and "often dozes off". I'm not sure what Lax actually means, but if it's anything like Snorlax, then that would be a fitting characteristic. The sad thing about all this is that Ally's the one to be booted off the team. Sorry... we had a pretty good run, but I think I need to start seeing other Pokemon. It's not you, it's me.
I teach Coraline Surf and head back to the National Park for a bug catching contest. Fleur proves her worth again by helping me nab a Scyther (which would NOT stay in the ball, and got Fleur down to 1 HP) which wins me the contest again. Too bad you don't get non-Sun Stones until later in the game. Around this time I also mess around with the Pokewalker and, after lots of searching, I come across a "!!!" patch and catch the Pikachu found there. I transfer everything over and learn that it has Fly. I was hoping for Surf, but this is cool too, I'm happy to have found a rare one. I got a Volt Tackle one too. So now I have two options - make progress, or more exploring places. Guess which I pick.
So yeah, back at Union Cave... I check out the little side area and, after fighting a couple hikers, come out at the Ruins of Alph. There's actually two different exits here - one has grass, a trainer, and a puzzle area, the other one just has a puzzle area. One requires Ho-oh, which I obviously don't have, the other requires "Water". I tried putting Coraline at the front of the team, do stuff with the MysticWater, and use Surf, but nothing works. I think I need a water stone. The trainer has a Girafarig which sorta murders my team (even Jenny couldn't beat it... but giraffe battles are awesome so it was totally worth it to try), and I find Natu and Smeargle in the grass. Smeargle knows Baton Pass. I should have let it learn Spore, but that would have made it more annoying to catch.
One Omanyte puzzle later, Unowns K though Q are released. I head back to the town to restock on Pokeballs, when all of a sudden I get into a wild battle with different music from usual. Hoshit it's Entei. That was the first one I ever encountered back in the original Silver too, but I think that was on the route between Ecruteak and Olivine. It breaks out of my Premier Ball (no surprise there) and so I continue on to my Unown hunting journey. So exciting, I know. Many years later I get all those, solve the Aerodactyl puzzle, and get R through V as well. I'll save the others for tomorrow, I'm getting very bored with this. The names I gave them are Keith, Lloyd, Mitzi, Nester, Olivia, Percy, Queenie, Roger, Sinclair, Tiffany, Ursula, and Vincent.
Next, since it's Friday, there's something I have to take care of. Drifloon! ... Wait, no, Lapras. I would have preferred Drifloon, it's so cute. And I always refer to them as "Anna's favorite" even though it's ... not. But anyway, that means I have to go further into Union Cave, and get totally decimated by the trainers there. One has Eevee and its Kanto evolutions, one has the Kanto starters, one just has a Poliwhirl. I fail pretty miserably against all of them because I'm underleveled, but I still manage to beat all of them. And also, the one with the Poliwhirl said something that really caught my attention.
"If the Pokemon I liked were there, I'd go anywhere. That's what a real Trainer does." - Ace Trainer Emma
HA. Take that, people who trade for everything.
So yeah I get Lapras. I hope you weren't expecting anything interesting, because nothing really happened. But actually I'm skipping forward a bit, because after beating Emma's Poliwhirl, Fleur evolved. Sweetness. Parasect is all crazy and Black-Mage's-Hat looking. Anyway like I said, Lapras catch. And like 5 minutes later, Jeremy got one in LeafGreen. That was odd. And... that's really about it for today. I let Jonah do the Jump course in the Pokeathlon, earning Coraline a medal for that course (only because I helped a lot though), and I'll probably do the other ones later on. But for now, that's it. Oh, and a sold a ton of shit that I was hoarding for some reason, which would explain why my money almost doubled.
While doing this, I somehow managed to run into Raikou. ... Three times. And no, it wasn't on the same route repeatedly, I just happened to be where it was on three separate instances. Each time I threw a Premier Ball at it hoping for some sort of divine luck, and each time said divine luck didn't show up. Meh, whatever. Time to finally take on the routes leading to Olivine that I ninja'd through a few times. First is Sailor Harry, who is nowhere near as difficult as my rival with the same name. Next is Lass Dana, who apparently brings all da boys to her yard and they shower her with gifts, which she then will give to me. Hos gotta stick togetha, after all. Unless... wait, she's saying that my milkshake is insufficient. Oh no you di'int, biotch!
My rage drives me to find a Miltank, since it sounds similar to milkshake and might bring boys to my yard. Whatever that means. In the process, I first find and catch Meowth, Tauros (and that's no bullshit), and Snubbull. Which is another swarmer like Yanma and Qwilfish, so I was lucky to find it. And apparently women find it irresistable and like to frolic with it. The hell? Explain to me why Whitney doesn't have one then. She has two other pink normal types, and you'd think that she'd have this one too. And I'd say that she should have a Lickitung too, for certain other reasons, but that would just be dirty. Oh wait, I already said it. Ok I'm shutting up now.
The other trainers are pretty much all boring. The only one worth mentioning is School Kid Chad, who wants my number so we can chat about Professor Oak. Like what, the fact that he was killed with a stake and reincarnated right outside Ilex Forest? I wouldn't mind sharing that story, but otherwise I believe a certain Mr. Sketchit in the Orange Islands would be a better person to talk to. Moving on, this route also has the Miltank farm, with Moomoo suffering from the bovine flu. Well, it's better than mad cow disease at any rate. I feed it a bunch of berries and get ... the Seal Case and some seals. Now to find a circus to sell them too so they can play horns and stu- oh, those kinds of seals. I might use those, but it's annoying how you can't put stuff in the PC afterwards without taking them off first.
Speaking of seals, I found a trainer in the Olivine Pokemon Center who wants to show off hers. So she sends out Bellossom in a burst of pedals and I squee a bit inside because it's my favorite Pokemon. But it's no match for Fleur's Slash, especially since it's only like, Level 16. Seeing as how Oddish evolves at Level 21, I have a bit of a problem with this. But it's not like other trainers don't do that so I don't know why I'm drawing attention to this specific case. After making sure I got everything in the town (including an item on a hidden shore that you have to surf to), I run into Monica of Monday for a Sharp Beak that I give to Lenore, and the currently-closed Battle Frontier that I will most likely never do anything in because I hate that kind of stuff. Aaaaand that's it for today.
Or maybe not. Though it is 2 AM so technically it's not the same day anymore, but whatever. I decided to go through the Lighthouse, which was always a game-killing boring part for me. It's slightly improved now, but not by a huge margin. You fight 9 trainers in it, which is overkill, but at least the place is less gloomy looking. There's an elevator which doesn't help you until after climbing up normally, and the "drop through a hole" bit is replaced by a part where you jump out a window. No seriously, you do. And you end up in this place with an odd ... halfway between sidescrolling and 3/4 view ... view. I don't know what to call it, but it was weird. I'll have to go back at different times of the day to see the sky.
And that's about it. Jasmine sends you to get medicine for Amphy like always, so I'll be doing that tomorrow probably. Getting through all the water trainers with no electric or grass move is going to be annoying.
After that stuff, and after a look at the not-breathtaking view from halfway up the Lighthouse (maybe sunset will look cool if I remember to check), my next task to reach Cianwood City is underway. And due to various distractions and the boredom of it all, it only takes about 6 hours to do. There's approximately 3,614 swimmers to fight (give or take 3,600), and none of them seemed to stand out. One guy mentioned a warm spot though, and several talk about Lugia. Plus I love how you can leisurely cruise by a whirlpool without getting sucked into it or at least knocked into a rock. Something's telling me that I'm forgetting some hilarious dialogue here, but I can't remember any of it. Just the usual "why aren't you swimming?" stuff, including someone who wants to take my Pokemon if he wins so he can ride it to shore. Good luck with that one, buddy. Only I know how to surf on a piece of coral.
I arrive at Cianwood several years later, and enjoy its other take on the original music, different from Ecruteak's oriental feel. Oh wait, I forgot, that's an offensive word now. I meant ... well, Japanese, there's really nothing to confuse it with. But whatever. This tiny island town doesn't have people who follow trends and say stuff like "YOUR MOTHER" or "ADULT ANIME", rather it just has Chuck Norris and a hodgepodge of other people. Including one whose Pokemon (hint - it starts with S and rhymes with weasel and is called Sneasel) is stolen by someone (hint - it starts with H and rhymes with Barry and is called Carl... wait, what). So I take Shuckie away for "safe keeping" and then die of laughter when I see it "likes to run". Yeah, good luck with that, Mr. 5 Base Speed.
The medicine for Amphy is ready to be picked up, so I grab that, get another random picture (I have a bunch of these and none are terribly interesting), and spot Suicune brooding outside some random lady's house who likes to dive off towers into the ocean. That's right, the house likes to do that. Because misplaced modifiers are cool like that. Anyway, where you find Suicune, you generally find a weirdo. Or "Mystic man", as he is apparently called. His team is surprisingly strong, but it's no match for my ragtag group consisting of a tsuchinoko, Daffy Duck after eating a jalapeno and getting hit with a mallet multiple times, hermit crab making off with a Smurf's house, and Spongebob's lawn ornament. The pushmi-pullyu and Wiccan crow didn't participate in this battle because I'll be using them extensively against Chuck Norris and his lackeys (not that he needs them of course, but they're there all the same).
So I guess that leaves the gym. I could check out the Cliff Cave and stuff, but I'll save that for later, to pad things out between gym battles. This one's very changed from the original. I know I say that about a lot of them, but... it is. Chuck's standing under a waterfall to "train" and you have to shut it off. How you do this isn't really explained. So I just go ahead and beat up some blackbelts scattered around. Not one of them uses a Johto Pokemon. I mean, come on. Why not give someone a Hitmontop or Heracross or something? The other two Hitmons are here, so there's not much of an excuse. Also one guy is named Yoshi, hehe.
So after doing that, I turn a winch WITH MY BARE HANDS (...don't ask, it's a reference to ShankDaddyX, the monster slayer) and that causes the spout that the waterfall was coming out of to move upwards. That's nice and everything, but it doesn't explain how the flow of water doesn't build up behind it and flood the room. Then again this is Pokemon so logic has no place here. I talk to Chuck, who admits that standing under a waterfall really has nothing to do with training (at least not for Pokemon battles), and accepts a challenge from a small girl. Hooray!
First out is Primeape (WHY, USE HITMONTOP OR SOMETHING), and I send out Lenore. It uses Rock Slide but luckily misses so I get in a Wing Attack. Doesn't seem like a great idea to stay in, so I switch to Beavis (though in retrospect I ask myself why, seeing as how he's weak to rock too... I don't know what I was thinking), but Primeape decides to use Focus Punch instead. How was I supposed to predict that? Not like it matters, since I was sending him into certain doom anyway... but thanks to Flame Body, Primeape gets burned. I stall it a bit with Fleur and it eventually goes down, thanks to my abilty to ignore obvious type disadvantages and get lucky with abilityhax.
Chuck's other Pokemon is Poliwrath (again I ask why I've been through 5 gyms now and have only seen ONE Johto Pokemon), and I go for Jenny. It's at about this time that I realize both of my Pokemon with a type advantage over Fighting have a secondary type that cancels that out. But whatever, Psybeam. Focus Punch fails. Psybeam again. Focus Punch fails again. Sitrus Berry kicks in and heals it out of the red (so Chuck won't use a Hyper Potion) but still within KO range. Psybeam again, Poliwrath be's dead, me be's winrar. That was kinda anti-climactic but I'm not really complaining. Actually yes I am. GET A BETTER TEAM.
I get the Storm Badge (storms have ... what to do with fighting types, exactly?) and the Focus Punch TM, and Chuck says he's now going to train 24 hours a day. I'd question how he would train while sleeping, but then I remembered that nobody in this game sleeps. So I leave the gym and his wife gives me the Fly HM because the game designers thought people would be annoyed if they had to Surf back to Olivine. It's much better to put two gym battles immediately after each other. She also says that it's good that he's training more because he was getting chubby. I don't think standing under a waterfall is going to accomplish much other than getting all pruny and developing hearing problems, but to each their own. Tomorrow, I explore grand new areas to the west.
Wellll I guess there's some other stuff I can attend to first. Like exploring a section of Mt. Mortar that I haven't bothered with yet. I find about 17 items in there (no seriously, there were a ton of them) and that's about it. SUPER EXCITING. I also find Suicune again, which pushes me into a wall and then runs off as it is wont to do. Eusine says some boring crap and leaves yet again, this time without battling. Well whatever, that's all I really had in mind, time to go to the Safari Zone. And only get distracted by 97 more things on the way.
Such as Hiker Devin with his team of Dunsparces. This one's been pointed out before for being kinda similar to Datai's Shiny Gold playthrough, since he had a Dunsparce and a Gardevoir named Devin. There's also a double battle against a Magmar and Electabuzz that nearly destroyed me. No seriously, they KOed four of my Pokemon. *sigh* And yes... there's a young couple with an Onix and a Cloyster. I don't really care if it's innuendo or not, because it's not particularly funny. I'm much more interested in the layout of this route in general. There's a small cave that lets you reach different levels of the cliff, which is kinda neat, but there was a lot more they could have done with it, honestly. The music is cool though.
Even before reaching the Safari Zone, there's stuff to catch in the Cliff Cave and Routes 47 and 48. Specifically: Kingler, Seel, Gloom, Fearow, Machoke, Misdreavus, Steelix, and Diglett. I didn't get all of them right away though, some I had to come back for later because I wanted to get through the Safari Zone before nightfall. I also got a phone call from Stalker Irwin, who says he wishes I could come visit him when he's sick like I did to Amphy. That guy's starting to creep me out a bit. And Gentleman Alfred says he got a Noctowl in a trade that turns out to be the same one he traded away several years earlier. Which just raises questions to me. Why are you trading Noctowl in the first place? It's not like they're rare. Why are you trying to get another one after giving away the first? Just catch another one. If you were trying to get your original back then I can understand, but that just happened through a fluke.
Ok whatever Safari Zone time for reals. The first section is the Peak, where I have to catch a Geodude to show to Billeh because he asked me to do that. So I get one, a Graveler (might as well catch it here instead of the Cliff Cave), and a Magneton. To the left is the Swamp, where I catch Jigglypuff. North of that are the Plains, which contain nothing I don't already have. This is where I thought I was going to get Girafarig though, and the Swamp is where I thought I'd get Murkrow. Gotta love finding stuff early. Unfortunately neither of the other team members I have planned can be found here, I have to wait until later.
To the right of the Plains is the Savannah, where I catch Rhyhorn. Right again is the Wetland, which unfortunately doesn't have Marill, and there's nothing else there I want. The last area, in the bottom right corner, is the wasteland, where I don't catch Machoke, because none were showing up. I got one in the Cliff Cave shortly after this though. So after getting everything I needed (in one trip, nonetheless), I head out and show Billeh the Geodude so he can do ... something. I know what that something is (or at least I think I do), but it won't be in effect until tomorrow. So it's just a matter of waiting until then. During this waiting, I catch Hypno and Nidorina in the Safari Zone after it becomes night. And that should be about it for today.
Well whatever, I'm over it. I head into the gym expecting to fight two lackeys, but both of them just give me generic encouragement. What the crap, why? I know there weren't trainers in the original, but the point of adding people to the gym is so they battle you, not so they do absolutely nothing. Well whatever, I'll just get this over with. Beavis vs. Magnemite: It dies to two Embers, I nearly die to one Thunderbolt. I'm really looking forward to that evolution, but the experience from this Magnemite didn't even fill a third of the meter. Bah. Next comes Steelix, which might be a bit dicey.
I lead with Coraline, hoping to beat it without too much hassle. A similar situation to the last matchup happens - Surf takes it to about half HP, Iron Tail nearly finishes me off despite being neutral. Being 8 levels higher than me probably has a bit to do with that. It outspeeds me, so I decide to switch out and try and incapacitate it. Fleur seems like a good choice, but oops, one-shotted. I think it was a critical hit, but it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. So I go for Perry instead and get in a Glare. Steelix sets up a Sandstorm, which is moderately annoying, but I'd rather get a free switch anyway so I just sorta stall and heal up Beavis and Coraline while waiting for Perry to go down... which it eventually does.
The sandstorm's still in effect when Coraline comes back out, which means I get a special defense increase... not that it matters. It goes down to a couple Surfs without any further problems, which leaves just the other Magnemite now. I really want Beavis to get exp, so I send in Lenore for a quick Night Shade followed by certain doom, then finish it off with an Ember which doesn't even get me the level up. Laaame sauce. But I guess the important thing is that I won the battle, and only had to sacrifice three team members in the process. Woot? Mineral Badge and useless Iron Tail TM are now mine. So, Billeh, how about that phone call? Eh? Eh? Don't make me actually try and make more progress.
Guess what time Billeh finally called me? 7:45. 15 minutes from what the game considers night, meaning I have practically no time to search for day-only Pokemon in the new Safari Zone areas after getting through all the dialogue and whatnot. So I set up the six new areas and desperately tried to find stuff while looking on Serebii for what's available. I caught Sandshrew (because he wants one for the second challenge, but that won't achieve anything until I get the National Dex anyway), Sandslash, Cubone, Marowak, Lickitung, Clefairy, and Marill. Saw several Larvitars, but didn't get to catch any. I'll have to come back for the rest tomorrow.
By the way, the new Pokemon games are announced as Black and White versions now. Hopefully people won't be morons and bring race into this.
During a long car ride, I ... didn't really play the game much. But I did do some stuffs, which I will now explain in humorless detail. With the Safari Zone behind me, the only thing left to do is check out the Lake of Rage. There's five trainers on the way - most of which were furries (the bizarre green Nidoking kind, one of whom had a regular non-green Nidoking), and at least two of which gave me their phone numbers. Lovely. I'm sure we'll have loads to talk about. Especially since everyone else does, like the Hiker who eats berries. I did get a call from someone who saw a Marill that turned out to be a Hoothoot though. But that's totally an easy mistake to make.
At the lake, I waste no time and go battle the red Gyarados. I could sit here and reset for a non-shiny, but that would take too long, so screw it, I'll just take the shiny one. It stayed in the first Pokeball I threw, so huzzah and whatnot. I don't really care about its stats or anything, which is strange for me, but ... *disappears in a puff of smoke*
Oh hey I'm still here. The lake is flooded, which means there's a big ol' maze of treetops to surf around. I run into a Magikarp roughly every 12 seconds (I thought they were supposed to all be evolved now) and find a bunch of items, including the Choice Specs and TMs for Hidden Power and Secret Power. I might use the Hidden Power one if I can get more of those. There's also a few trainers to fight, including the obligatory Magikarp trainer. Speaking of Magikarp, I thought there was a guy in the house who measures Magikarps and gives you a prize for big ones, but I guess they took that out. I'm not sure how the size was determined anyway, probably one of the IVs.
There's one guy here who won't fight me. At first I didn't really think anything of it, but then I checked Serebii (after getting home of course) and found out that he does use the middle stages of the Kanto starters. Bulbapedia says he only fights you when the lake isn't flooded, which is apparently on Wednesdays. I didn't realize the lake wasn't flooded on certain days, so it's good I checked. I also found out that I should have caught a Pidgeotto here a long time ago but still haven't, and I can't now because it's night.
Oh, and I guess Lance is here too, but who cares about that. He looks both intimidating and ridiculous with his very tall hair and large orange Barney, but I choose to talk to him anyway. He rambles on about the Gyarados acting oddly (no it wasn't, those things are always pissed off. And for a good reason too.) So he takes off to the not-at-all-suspicious ""store"" in Mahogany, and I follow, ready to kick some Team Rocket ass. Then I realize how boring and repetitive this part of the game is and groan but do it anyway.
So after Lance's Dragonite Hyper Beams a human being and then pushes aside a giant gold ... thing, I head in, trip the Persian security statue thing, and fight a couple of generic grunts, the second of which flat-out tells me there's a way to disable the security system. And so does the scientist, who says you can disable it using the computer right there, and does nothing to stop you. Well, I don't do it anyway, because I want the experience, but it's the exact same two grunts every time. Gets kinda tedious. There's one other grunt here who thinks he's Dirty Harry and literally says "do you feel lucky, punk?", referring to the exploding Pokemon in the floor. Whatever, I beat all those for experience too.
After going back to heal, I go downstairs and Lance heals me. That totally wasn't a waste of time. While healing, some schmuck calls me and says that Bill's mother was a Kimono Girl. Yeah, well, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries, what of it. After beating a bunch more grunts and learning about the whole two password system thing, I run into the "hyuck hyuck hyuck" guy. Yay! He tells me the password "Raticate Tail", the only female grunt in the entire hideout (who is rather hot by the way) tells me "Slowpoke Tail", and this allows me to reach the boss. So time to do th- Harry, what the shit are you doing here?
He says that Lance fought him and said that he doesn't treat his Pokemon well, and so he can't stand Lance's "bleeding heart" or some weird crap like that. Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily -- weak people, in other words -- they stand no chance against his powers! Wait, no, that was Snape. And was also irrelevant. Nevermind. Inside the room is... Giovanni?
Wait, no, our heroine can tell that it isn't really him, despite not knowing anything about what Giovanni looks or sounds like. And Petrel (which is not a name) did such a good job of imitating him too! Well whatever, I beat him just about as easily as any of the grunts. What a great executive. He takes off, saying that it doesn't matter anyway because even though I know the password, "hail Giovanni", the door only opens when he says it. And unlike Mr. Krabs opening the jellyfish containment thingy, he's not going to make that mistake. Too bad he forgot about his Murkrow that can talk and perfectly imitate voices, which is all too ready to betray him. Seems like the thing you shouldn't overlook.
But yeah, that thing leads me to the door and says the password. Would have made more sense if it was a Chatot, but those aren't in Johto. And it makes me wonder if Lenore can talk and just refuses to for some reason. So as I'm about to head in to the no-longer-locked room, Executive Ariana tries to stop me! Wait, Dumbledore's sister was the boss of an evil group? Why wasn't that mentioned in Rita Skeeter's book? (Ok, I'll stop with the Potter references now) She teams up with some random guy and I team up with Lance and his hacked Level 40 Dragonite which, despite being a full 11 levels higher than my team, is still 15 levels too low. 10 too low if we're counting the Toys R Us one.
They go down easily enough, and the experience from that fight was enough to make Beavis reach level 30... and you know what that means! Hells yeah, Magmar time. I just have to hope that Red's Charizard won't beat it IN THE VERY HEART OF A VOLCANO ITSELF and I'll be in good shape. (Ok fine I'll explain that reference). So time to take care of Team Rocket's incredibly stupid power source of three Electrodes, that could explode itself or just wander off if it felt like it. I catch one of them (for my own evil schemes), beat the other two, and that's the end of that place. Only TWO MORE stupid Rocket base things to deal with now... ugh. I sell a bunch of crap, get gifts from Mom, trade shards for berries, get the Exp Share from Mr. Pokemon, and call it a night.
In addition to sliding around, you now have to push ice blocks into each other, because this is apparently Zelda now. It's not too much of a problem, but the second puzzle confused me because it looked a lot more complex than it really was. Well, the Pryce is right... by which I mean, the time is right to fight him. He leads with the generic-as-always Seel, which surprisingly puts up a bit of a fight, because it keeps abusing Rest and even when it doesn't, Pryce heals it anyway. It took a combination of Fleur and Lenore to beat, but only because I didn't feel like using a Potion. Don't tell PETA. Or... PETP, as I guess it would be called.
Next is the only-slightly-less-generic Dewgong. For this I decide to go with Coraline and use Rock Blast a bunch of times until it goes down. Which it does without too much trouble. I wish there were more interesting things to say about this. Anyway, his last one is the pile o' swine (and hair) itself, Piloswine, which I fight with Beavis. Not the greatest matchup, since I figured it would have ground moves, but I've never used Beavis post-evolution yet and I want to wreck shit up. Turns out it does have a ground move - Mud Bomb, which lowers my accuracy. But we're awesome enough to not let that matter, and I get in three Fire Punches (would have been two but he healed it), thus making the Icicle Badge, worthless Hail TM, and ability to use Whirlpool all mine. By the way, apparently Pryce's middle name is Willow. Ok then.
I could go investigate the Whirl Islands now, but it would be kinda pointless until later I think, so I'll hold off on that. Professor Elm calls saying that Team Rocket is sending a broadcast over the radio, and indeed they are. It's a rather pathetic one, but whatever, apparently these schenanigans need to be stopped. So I head to Goldenrod and go into the radio tower, but there's actually an effective guard standing there who won't let me in unless I have a Team Rocket uniform. Why do most guards just challenge you to a match and leave if you win, but this one doesn't? Well whatever, I have easy access to a uniform anyway.
Down in the underground, everyone's gone except one TR member who stole one of their outfits because they didn't have enough of their own (...wow), and he seems all too ready to believe that I'm going to join the evil team, so he gives me a uniform. Yes, I'm sure the ten year old girl with a large poofy hat and bow secretly wants to be a criminal. God these people are stupid. But now I get to mess with people. And what follows has got to be the funniest part in any Pokemon game I've played.
The game won't let you leave the town (not even by flying), and you can't ride the bike because the programmers didn't want to make more sprites than necessary, so it just gives you the message "You can't be doing that now!", which I find hilariously Engrishy. There's a bunch of Rocket people standing around preventing you from getting into most of the buildings, but a few are unblocked. Such as Bill's house, where his sister gives you his number. Great job, you just have his phone number to a criminal. The name rater is also available with unchanged dialogue, possibly because rating names is too proud of an occupation to be prejudiced by minor things like belonging to a criminal organization.
Nurse Joy is the same, I assume because of the Hippocratic Oath. But the people in charge of the wireless facilities are flat-out jackasses about it. "People wearing black clothing, people who engage in unlawful activities, and people who are members of Team Rocket are barred from participating." And the similar but more sarcastic response: "Pardon us for the inconvenience... Please return once you have stopped being a member of Team Rocket." Maybe I'm just weird but I thought this was hilarious.
Oh, and there's a guy blocking the GTS who's like "If you love to trade so much, wait until the mission is over." Actually I wouldn't be opposed to this guy standing there forever so people won't get access to this stupid place. Especially now that there's an exploit that basically lets you trick the game into thinking your computer is the GTS server and you can get free, allgedly legit Pokemon from it. Well whatever, the GTS isn't half as bad as message boards as far as the whole trading=cheating thing goes.
Well now that my cover is blown, time to mow down a bunch of Rocket Grunts. There's a ton of them and pretty much none put up anything resembling a fight. Eventually I reach the director, except OOPS, it's actually Petrel, the guy who was impersonating Giovanni earlier. Curse you and your shapeshifting abilities! He has a team of 5 Koffings and a Weezing, which would be easy if I just Psybeamed all of them, but I'm going for equal experience distribution so it's actually a fairly threatening team. But I win in the end, of course, and he randomly gives me the key to the basement. There's no Murkrow to betray him this time, so I guess he had to make up for it.
So after a quick heal, it's time to head into the basement and clean out the rest of the trash. A Kimono Girl shows up, does nothing of note, and leaves. Ok then. Past the security door, the first minion has a single Rattata, which is significantly better than Joey's, but obviously still not good enough to land a single hit on me. Then Harry shows up again. Goddamn it, I've had enough of you and your sexual harrassment for one day. But this time he actually battles me, saying that he couldn't find Lance and needs someone to fight. His team's fairly decent, but mine's still better. Even his stolen Sneasel can't help him out of this one, though it did miraculously dodge THREE Rock Blasts in a row before dying.
In this fight, Jenny has the opportunity to learn Double Hit, which I pass on, and Coraline learns Ancientpower over Refresh. I don't really need two rock moves, but I don't really need Refresh either since it has Natural Cure. And this reminds me - a couple days ago I did return Shuckie to its trainer and caught my own Shuckle afterwards. After his Joker impersonation ("Why so serious?" ... yes, he really says that), Harry realizes that he really is missing love and compassion for his Pokemon, and goes off presumably to beat some love into them.
A few more trainers later, I am now stuck with this weird wall puzzle thing. There's three switches that make them move around. Rather than actually try and figure out what to do, I just hit them in the order 2, 3, 1 (twenty-three is number one!) and, surprisingly, it works perfectly. That had to have been intentional. Well anyway, I continue deeper into the basement hideout and try to sneak up on a guard and take him out with Spore from afar, when a get a phone call. ! I'm sneaking up on some Rockets, Derek! Dereekkkkk! Luckily it's not like it matters (or that stealth is possible here), so I beat him and proceed to the one running around boxes.
I try and run past this guy and grab the item, and succeed, but then Coraline gets in the way and he starts jogging in place. Great programming there. I move a bit and she stays between me and the grunt, meaning I pretty much have to intentionally fight this guy. So I do, and it turns out he's the "hyuck hyuck hyuck" guy, not like that really matters. One more generic grunt later, I save the Director for reals this time and get the Card Key to open the doors in Silph Co... I mean the Radio Tower. So I go back, walk past all the grunts I beat earlier who just stare at me and do nothing, and open up yonder door so I can get this stupid mission over with already. I've seen enough Koffings for a lifetime now.
Beyond the door, there's a boss rush of sorts - first is Executive Proton, who we haven't seen since the Slowpoke Well. He's still generic and only has a Golbat and Weezing. NEXT. Ariana, whose Murkrow is the same exact level as Lenore yet in a mirror match, I beat it without even getting hit. Also she has a Vileplume which doesn't do a whole lot, and manages to get burned by Flame Body while using Petal Dance. I didn't realize that was a contact move. NEXT.
The last boss actually poses a threat - I had to reset once due to luck with him making me flinch at a bad time. He leads with Houndour, which dies to Fly, then sends out Koffing (goddamn it not another one) which dies to Psybeam, and lastly has a Houndoom, which goes down to Surf but is surprisingly tough anyway. He evaporates and, presumably, all the Rocket bullshit is over with now. The director shows up and gives me the Silver Wing, which they found in the Radio Tower before rebuilding it. He says that it won't do anything yet thou- wait, back up a bit. What the hell was the Silver Wing doing here? Apparently Lugia used to live on a tower in Goldenrod. I thought it lived on the Burned Tower before it burned down. And if I was playing HeartGold, he probably would have said the same for Ho-oh, which I'm pretty sure always lived in Ekruteak. Seriously, wtf.
Well whatever, I have important things to deal with now. More important than stupid Team Rocket, because it involves a better team - my own. I head to Route 44, east of Mahogany, and dodge trainers to reach the grass patch. I catch a Weepinbell, but much more importantly, my new team member - Tangela! I name him Fry, mostly because it resembles a Fryguy from McDonalds, but also for the Futurama character. Fry is Timid with a "sturdy body". Immediately afterwards, School Kid Alan asks for a rematch... who coincidentally has a Tangela of his own. Well I'll have to do some grinding before Fry can beat that thing, so I'll pass for now.
But I'm not done yet. I dodge some more trainers to reach Ice Path, and catch me a Swinub, thus completing my final team. Fleur and Perry, both of you were awesome, but the time has come to be replaced. My Swinub, Raymond (named for Ray Romano, voice of Manfred from Ice Age), is Serious and often scatters things. And, once again, I immediately get a phone call, this time from Pokefan Krise, asking for a rematch. LATER, jeez. I have two new team members to train, and a load of trainers on Route 44 to test them out on. Fry and Raymond, I have high hopes for you two.
And thus begins a bunch of grinding. Pretty much all wild Pokemon except the ones on Route 44 are too low-leveled to provide adequate experience, so I do it there. Raymond seems to be weak to everything under the sun (particularly the grass and fire types that its ice and ground type attacks would be good against otherwise), and Fry has trouble dealing damage to a lot of things, but I'm sure these problems will be rectified eventually. I fight all the trainers on the route, trying my best to get exp off them but usually dying in the process. There's one Pokemaniac in particular who says something like "Pokemon that are a different color than usual are more valuable... what, you're saying that's not true?"
No. No I'm not. Unless my character is the type of person that just hacks everything and acts like this is ok, and then says nothing has any value because of it. Well, they would if you'd stop doing that! I don't think she's guilty of that though. I also take care of the rematches at this time. There's School Kid Alan, Pokeman Krise, and Pedophile Fisherman Ralph. Ralph has a level 40 Seaking, christ. And then, what do you know, Youngster Joey calls and asks for a rematch too. This should be good. So I check it out, and turns out his top percentile Rattata has evolved into a top percentile but still useless Raticate. After defeat, he says that he needs to catch more Pokemon. No shit.
Other than that all that's left is to check out the Lake of Rage since now it's Wednesday and all the water was mysteriously vanished. I encounter some graphical errors while surfing around, as well as cuttable trees in a maze that block some mediocre items. Wesley of Wednesday gives me a Black Belt, and there's a trainer down here with the middle forms of the Kanto starters, who provides one last bite of exp. Before calling it a night, I head to a Pokemart and check the items Mom bought me, which include a Choice Scarf. I doubt I'll be using that, but it's still pretty sweet. And it's not edible like Focus Sashes either.
After stepping onto the 100% frictionless ice and sliding around a bit, I find the HM for Waterfall and, shortly after, the guy who lost it. I assume he's there so people don't accidentally miss it, which is a nice touch. It's no fun to have to backtrack through the entire game looking for an item that you need with no hints towards its whereabouts. Soon after that I come to an area with pushable boulders, and we all know what that means. Time to backtrack and get Randy out of the PC. I somehow manage to get through the entire cave without a single wild encounter ... until I'm standing literally at the exit, and then a Delibird shows up.
I catch it after like 4,000 failed attempts, and the useless thing is now mine. Couldn't they have made Sneasel the SS counterpart to HG's Gligar instead of this? I mean, really, that would make a lot more sense (especially since both have evolutions now, and similar ones at that), and it would be nice to get Sneasel NOT at the very end of the game. Instead we get this trash. I love penguins, but it's completely worthless. Well enough bitching about that. I go through the cave again and do some annoying boulder pushing, then go down a floor so I can turn two ordinary Krabby Patties into a one-way ticket to pain. By which I mean, slam into said boulders face-first.
So I wander around a bit more and realize that this place is actually a lot bigger than I remember, but I'm almost done. I find an Avalanche TM that I'll probably never use, but that sorta saddens me. My refusal to use one-time TMs means that I'm missing out on a lot of cool moves. But I just feel like it's a waste. Near the exit there's a Kimono Girl on the ice who doesn't seem to react to me sliding around, so I go and talk to her to find out what the deal is. Turns out her shoes got stuck to the ice and needs me to push her to the exit. Well that was ... unique. I assume that was part of my "test" to prove that I'm worthy to face Lugia. Just a really random one.
So with that behind me, I'm now at Blackthorn, the last city of Johto. There's little hut dealies here, as well as Richard Nixon receiving radio transmissions though a metal plate in his head (don't ask), and one of the huts is filled with all the obligatory moveset people crammed together. The move deleter, relearner, and tutors for Draco Meteor and the elemental Hyper Beams are just sorta chillin'. I think I'll teach Fry Sleep Powder, and Raymond's going to need to use the tutor after evolving, but for now I'll pass and think about what I should do next. Ok I thought about it - Route 45. But what should I do after THAT? Hmm...
The first step of this process was to actually encounter them a number of times to get their health down. Getting them to show up on the same route as you can be annoying, but just wandering across Route borders generally does the trick pretty well. The border between routes 36 and 37 works pretty well. Then it was just a matter of hitting with Bind (75% accuracy), getting off a Stun Spore, and then encountering them a few more times to get the HP down low. It sounds all nice and formulaic when I type it here, but it still took a pretty long time. But hey, dose are the breaks.
Eventually Entei got down to a sliver of life, so I took my Wobbuffet (nicknamed Heather) out of the PC and proceeded to track it down one last time. After a while it decided to show up, and two Premier Balls later, it was mine. Raikou took a bit longer, as it was less cooperative with getting in the ball. I had to reset a number of times because there's not much sense in wasting Premier Balls when you could just reset and be at the same place you were before. After about an hour I finally nabbed the guy. Raikou's Sassy, and Entei's Hasty. Both are pretty shitty natures I think, but I don't really care about that.
And thus with that quest complete, I was able to focus my energy on battling the numerous trainers on Route 45. After first getting distracted by catching a Teddiursa (it's so KUUT) and exploring the worthless Dark Cave. But yeah, I fight all them, as well as a few rematches with people who call on the phone, trying my best to get Fry and Raymond up to scratch. After the last trainer, I head down a bit more to see what the guy standing around here is doing, when all of a sudden, I notice what appears to be a very large chunk of gold or sulfur... then I realize it has arms and a face. I've just encountered a shiny Geodude.
After the initial HOLY SHIT moment, my mind races to think of the proper course of action here. Geodude knows Self-destruct. I've already lost one shiny in the past (a purple Wobbuffet in Sapphire's Safari Zone), and I don't want to make this my second. So I check a capture rate calculator. Turns out Love Balls only work well against opposite-gendered Pokemon if it's the same species. Well shit. I stupidly sold all my Great and Ultra Balls since I never use those, so all I've got are 95 regular Pokeballs, 3 Premiers, 5 Nets, 1 Dive, 1 Fast, and 2 Loves. Nothing above a x1 capture rate. Well the calculator says I have about a 33% chance, and I risk a 25% chance of it killing itself if I decide to attack instead, so here goes.
Premier Ball, go! *wobble... wobble... wobble... click!* Hells yes. Behold, Goldude, the Naughty gold Geodude.
Naughty is + Attack, - Special Defense. Well, the Geodude family has low special defense anyway, so it's not too horrible. Better than something like Modest or Timid at any rate. And unfortunately since it's a trade evolution, that means I won't be evolving it to Golem any time soon. But hey, I'm still pretty happy.
With that over, all that's left for the day is to wind down with some more grinding. Fry reaches Level 33 first, I replace Bind with Ancientpower, and bamf - Tangrowth. Pretty awesome. People love to hate the 4th gen evolutions, but I think the bulk of them are pretty cool, and Tangrowth is one of the more harmless ones. Raymond takes a bit longer to get there, but eventually he evolves at Level 33 into a pretty sweet Piloswine... but I don't have to settle for that. One quick trip to the move tutor later, he has Ancientpower too, and a bit more grinding later, I'm the proud owner of a Mamoswine. I can sense Clair and Lance shivering from the icy winds of defeat arriving in the near future. *laughs maniacally*
All those hours of Voltorb Flip have not been in vain. I have nearly 30,000 coins, so I'm able to buy an Ice Beam and Thunderbolt TM to give to Coraline and Jenny respectively. Then I just have to backtrack to Clair, which is kinda annoying since it isn't much easier to control the platforms a second time. Knowing what you're doing is only half the battle with those things. I guess there's no need to put it off any longer... time for the hardest battle of the game so far. It's a good thing I took notes, because there's no way I would have remembered it all. And I also had to reset at least 3 times.
Clair leads with Gyarados, with its stupid Intimidate ability. I lead not with Jenny, but with Fry, mainly because I need to get this thing paralyzed ASAP. I'm able to get off two Ancientpowers before dying thanks to luck with paralysis. Unfortunately that also means that she's going to heal it when I switch back to Jenny, so no hope for a OHKO with Thunderbolt. She only uses a Hyper Potion and not a Full Restore though, which is nice. So I go with Psybeam, manage to confuse the thing, then go for the Thunderbolt, it somehow lives, but then it finishes itself off with confusion due to luck with Psybeam. Wow.
Next out is one of the Dragonairs. I send out Coraline and use Ice Beam, which doesn't even take it down to half HP... christ. Well, no sense in trying again, especially since I'm outsped, so I switch to Beavis for ... some reason. Can't see him doing well against Kingdra so I guess now is the time. I get in a Headbutt, but no flinchhax so I die to Aqua Tail. It does get burned from Flame Body, but it then loses it due to Shed Skin. Weak. I send in Lenore and kill it with Fly. Kinda anticlimactic but I'm not complaining.
Then she sends out the next Dragonair.. saving the best for last I suppose. I Fly it again, which somehow does more than half HP (I think it was a critical hit, it doesn't make much sense otherwise), get Thunderwaved, heal, and Fly it again to beat it. I'm feeling pretty good about myself now, but Kingdra shows up to ruin life as we know it. I switch to Raymond and use Ice Shard partly just to see how much damage it does... which is not very much at all. It uses Hydro Pump and I go down in one hit. God this thing is going to be a pain to take down.
Next I send in Jenny (who's still at full health amazingly - Bite from Gyarados is almost a OHKO) and manage to dodge a Hydro Pump before getting in a Thunderbolt... which doesn't do significantly more damage than Ice Shard did. I'm not as lucky with the next Hydro Pump and Jenny gets wiped out. At this point I'm starting to panic a bit and realize that I need to do some reviving. So I send out Coraline (who's almost dead anyway) and use a Max Revive on Fry... in my eyes, it's worth it. The next Hydro Pump misses, so I also use a regular Revive on Raymond. The next and final Hydro Pump KOs Coraline. At least I think it's the last - it's possible she used a PP up.
Out comes Fry to get in a Stun Spore, taking a Dragon Pulse pretty well. I use Ancientpower, which criticals and does a pretty good amount of damage.. but also triggers its Sitrus Berry. Well at least I got rid of it now. It Dragon Pulses again, leaving me almost dead. So I just Ancientpower again hoping for parahax, but no such luck. Fry goes down. I send out Raymond and try to do as much damage as possible with Take Down. Kingdra's fully paralyzed. I think another Take Down will put it in the red, so I use Ice Shard again and hope that Lenore will be able to finish with Fly. But then Dragon Pulse misses, meaning I'm able to get in another Take Down, thus literally Taking it Down and winning the battle.
Buuut as most of us know, that's not enough to get the badge, because Clair's a sore loser. She says I'm not ready for the Pokemon League (which is completely true, I won that battle due to luck) and that I have to get a fang from the Dragon's Den. Whatever, if it will shut you up then I'll do it. But not yet. Quest time. Oldm'n lets me in, and yet the trainers inside are total douchebags and are all leik YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE RAWR, so I beat them up and throw them into the whirlpool. Wait... dammit, there's a whirlpool? Ugh, I'll get Wooper then and teach it Whirlpool and Waterfall. So I come back with that after like 45 Magikarp encounters and cross over the whirlpool by ... I don't know what the hell I just did. Water just sorta splashed upwards from the center of it and let me past. Whatever happened to squirting water in the opposite direction to make it go away? Now I have to do this multiple times because I keep crossing over it and back.
Well whatever, I find the stupid Dragon's Fang and show it to the people in the shrine. And the leader's all leik "answer me these questions five, 'ere the other side is he". I point out that it doesn't rhyme at all and that I'm not a "he", then a mysterious force throws me into the whirlpool. Yeah not really, but that would be fun.
"What are Pokemon to you? Ally, junior, or friend" Well, I do have one named Ally, but nah. No idea what the hell "junior" is supposed to mean so I say friend. "What helps you to win battles? Strategy, training, or cheating" All three. But I'll go with strategy I guess. "What kind of Trainer do you wish to battle? Weak, strong, or anyone" None of them. But anyone's the closest so I'll go with that. "What is most important for raising Pokemon? Love, violence, or knowledge" Ok now you're just giving me stupid choices on purpose. Love is the lamer choice so I pick that. "Strong Pokemon. Weak Pokemon. Which is more important? Strength, weakness, both" ...I'm pretty sure there's a certain trainer with my character's name who says something very similar to that. Whatever, both.
The leader guy says I pass and so I can get the badge, but Clair's still being a bitch so she has to be threatened with being reported to Lance. Apparently she never passed this test... wow, fail much? It wasn't exactly difficult. So she gives me the badge and flounces out. I ask for my Dratini, but don't get it. So I leave, find Clair again, and she gives me the Dragon Pulse TM which I'll never use, and complains that I need to beat the Pokemon League or she'll feel worse about losing to me. Kinda like how Ash always loses to someone who goes ahead and loses in the next round anyway. As soon as I leave, Elm calls and says to go to the lab. No.
I clear out a slot in the party, head back to the shrine place where these people sit around wondering how to get into the other side that's blocked off, and finally get my Dratini, which I reset for multiple times until I get an Adamant, male one. I was aiming for Quiet (because Smogon recommends it, I personally don't give a shit) but this works too, and male's good so I can breed Extremespeed. Then I fly to New Bark to pick up the Master Ball from Elm, and go to say hi to Mom... but like always, she assumes I only care about my money. Wow she sucks. Well, off to Ecruteak for punch and pie.
Before I get to head into the Dancing place thing, Harry comes out and talks about his thrashing, but is less of a dick than usual. Maybe he's learning something after all. Then I save because holy crap this next part is annoying. I'm not going to talk about the battles in detail, but you're forced to fight all the Kimono Girls in a row with their Level 38 Eeveelutions, and it's surprisingly challenging. The worst was Jolteon, which I used Raymond to battle. It apparently only knows Thunderbolt, Double Team, Last Resort, and some other move that it refused to use. So it got up six Double Teams and then kept using the non-working Last Resort while I failed to hit it over and over again.
Also worth noting is the weird shit they say before you fight them. Like "I am the one who twirls even underground". What the hell is that supposed to mean? Well anyway I eventually beat all of them and get the Tidal Bell, whatever the hell that is (I thought the Silver Wing was enough), and they head off to the Whirl Islands. Which is where I will be heading next, on tomorrow's next exciting installment of POKE BALL Z! [doesn't care if that joke has been used before]
Exploring the islands was kinda neat, since I don't really remember how anything was laid out. I started with the upper left island and eventually checked out each area, collecting the myriad of items strewn about. This place kinda reminds me of Level 8 in Bikdip's Adventure 2 - or rather, what that level would have been like if I didn't make it a sidescroller. I didn't even have the Whirl Islands in mind when I made that thing, actually. Anyways, I happen to reach the target area last without planning it that way, so that was kinda cool. An old guy living in the cave (see, it is like BA2) says I can pass because I have the Silver Wing. Is that really all he's there for?
The ground slopes downwards pretty steeply, and there's a small opening in the wall, in which I get a breathtaking view of the waterfall within. That must be were Lugia's hiding, but I can't see it yet. So I head back out and go down the slope some more until I'm finally at the base. And then just to spoil the mood I take the time to catch a Horsea and Seadra in the water here. Seadra takes like 14 Pokeballs, which is a good indication of my upcoming bad luck.
I head into the cave with the formidable waterfall dead ahead. The Kimono Girls all stand ready for my arrival, and do a ceremonial dance to the ringing of the Tidal Bell. And singing CEEEEEEEEESAAAAAAAAAR probably wouldn't hurt either. They do this for a pretty long time, and finally the shadow of Lugia is visible behind the crashing cascade of water, then after a brief hesitation, senses that I have a pure heart and allows me an opportunity to prove myself. Well it's a good thing this is only a game and I have the ability to save, because one opportunity wouldn't have been enough. Not even 50 would have been enough.
So yeah... trying to get this thing in a Premier Ball is no easy feat. I lead with Fry to get in a Stun Spore, praying that it doesn't use Aeroblast and ruin my chances, or that Extrasensory causes me to flinch, or that Hydro Pump criticals, or that Stun Spore misses. Yeah, lots can go wrong here. After that I basically weaken it with Ancientpowers, Stomps (the flinch chance is more useful than Thunderbolt, especially considering its special defense), Assurances, and whatever else is necessary to lower it to the red before throwing balls at it. Then after all ten balls inevitably fail, I get to reset and try again.
For TEN HOURS. No, that is not an exaggeration. I started at about 4 PM and caught it at 2 AM. Granted I wasn't trying the entire time, but I was for at least 75% of it. But at last, this mythical beast is now mine to ... keep in a PC for all eternity. Or maybe use to utterly destroy the competition in the Pokeathlon. I'm sure I'll be wanting its power for the impending Elite 4 challenge, but that would make me a wuss.
By the way it's a Lonely nature, which fits it well, but unfortunately doesn't provide good stat coverage. (Boost in attack, drop in defense). But I don't really care about that, I'm just happy to finally be over with that. Hopefully the other NINE legendaries left to catch won't be as bad.
It all started when I was born at a very young age in a log cabin which I had helped my father build. Ok maybe that's not true. It started when I realized "o hay, I has waterfall" and decided to check out the new areas available. Route 47 (the new one with the Cliff Cave) had a couple waterfalls. Yes, two. What did those two waterfalls lead to? A white flute and a patch of a grass that was in no way special. Thanks for the white flute, now I can encounter wild Pokemon even more than I already am. Why not make a flute with the effect that causes all wild battles to be Zubats and Tentacools while you're at it?
On a much more useful note, I checked out Mt. Mortar, which was more annoying than it needed to be due to needing Strength (Randy), Waterfall (Wooper), and an empty slot in the party. But eventually I got through the annoyingly winding path in this utterly useless cave and found the Karate King or whatever his name is. I done beat up his Pogeminz so I got a Tyrogue. Hooray. There were also a pretty sizable amount of items laying around, which I stole and ATE. Mmm... Ultra Balls.
After that little escapade, all that was left was to go through Tohjo Falls and head up to Victory Road. This took about 5 days due to a lack of interest. But anyway, I decided to teach Fry Strength because I didn't really have a need for Poisonpowder anymore and didn't feel like dragging along another slave (or making a new one), replaced Whirlpool on Wooper for Surf, and left Coraline behind because she levels up pretty quickly and will be able to grind well in Victory Road, what with all the rock types. So I head through Tohjo Falls, making note of the room behind a waterfall with a broken radio in it (I know what it's for but I won't spoil it), and emerge very apathetic about the road ahead.
There's a bunch of trainers along the way, which at this point I remember nothing about and probably wouldn't have written anything about them anyway. I will note however that it didn't take long at all before I encountered whirlpools. Goddamn it. So I had to go back, delete Surf from Wooper, reteach Whirlpool, and take Coraline with now, leaving behind Fry. The whirlpools didn't really lead to much though (one had a trainer with a single Farfetch'd behind it, one was just a pointless "shortcut"), so yes it was a waste of time. Heading up the route continues without anything else happening worth talking about.
Eventually I reach Victory Road after showing my shiny badges to the guard, and about three inches in I realize that I deposited Fry and need Strength. SON OF A... oh whatever, I can just Fly back, it's not a huge deal. And that means I don't need Wooper with me anymore either, yay. Victory Road is still completely lacking in trainers and any sort of challenge (why this is, I'm not sure.. the extra experience would be helpful). Eventually I reach some Rock Smash rocks. Which are optional, but still, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU. And, predictably, Harry ambushes me at the exit. Good thing I healed and saved beforehand, predicting this would happen.
So ... we battle. He's really not harder than any other trainer. The Pokemon are at decent levels, but still. Sneasel, Meganium, Magneton, Golbat, Kadabra, and Haunter isn't really the most threatening team if you have good type coverage. And I'd make some joke about him not evolving the Kadabra and Haunter because he doesn't trust anyone to trade them back, but I hate trading anyway and have always thought that was the stupidest evolution mechanic ever. It's not difficult, it's just inconvenient. Nobody wants to be bothered with crap like this, and why should a player be punished by not being allowed to evolve certain Pokemon just because they don't have other people to play with? (and/or a link cable / wireless router if applicable)
So with that taken care of, I grind a little bit up to Level 40. The highest level in the Elite 4 is 50, and I'll probably gain a couple in the process, so ... yes, I'm underleveled, but I think I can manage this. Do you? If you feel like there's no way I'll be able to win with this team, let me know. I'm sure you know how to contact me. My team is as follows: